The Owl Diary

baby steps // staying focused on who I want to be

2012-01-29T12:51:00.001-07:00

I’m an impatient person. I don’t like waiting. So I do everything as fast as possible-- walking, speaking, working and general every day tasks and activities. So it seems for the past few years I’ve been living my life rushing through the day- just ready to get to the next. Somehow I assumed I’d get better and would be a better person. & I gave up on the things that don’t just change over night. Like taking the time to expand my talents. Or the time to deal with my past. Or my attitude toward Christ. The past few years have been full of small doses of “tries” and failed attempts. This led to disappointments and beggar prayers asking God to somehow make me try harder. To not give up. Yet I didn’t want to put in the time. I wanted overnight results. I wanted my life to be in order now. And if I failed at making that happen, there was always tomorrow. To try again. To give up. Repeat. I became indifferent. And I stopped being the person I know I can be- the person I’m meant to be.

Simply put, I stopped living my life with purpose and passion. And a few weeks before 2012 arrived, I knew I was done with the crap-- for lack of a better word. This new year, as cliche as it is, was the time for a fresh start. Things had to change. Things have to change. And that’s why this is the year of baby steps. This is the year of discipling myself and remaining focused. This is the year of listening to God and reading His Word. This is the year of waking up each day with purpose, training myself to have an attitude of one who’s walking with God. To not waste one day. To be aware of my words and actions, and the effect they have on people and myself. To put people before myself. To live out true love- slow to anger, causing no harm to others, not boasting, trusting, protecting, hoping. This is the year of doing, getting healthy, peace, strength, honor, love, hope, respect, discipline, obedience and perseverance. Cheers.

And 2012 is about being honestly open on The Owl Diary. Hold me accountable, mmk?

I am on a journey

2012-01-14T17:05:00.000-07:00

// quote source

January: Inspiration Board

2012-01-08T12:11:00.009-07:00

Instagram: Decembrrrr

2011-12-24T18:29:00.001-07:00

December has been rad, consisting of: making gingerbread houses with friends, attending the nutcracker ballet, listening to christmas records, baking all night long, spending some of my bonus money on an awesome hand-painted picture, buying a dresser-turned-entertainment-center with my bingo winnings, looking at christmas lights with the fam, attending three pre-screens, fantastic co-workers, overdosing on starbucks coffee, rainy nights, a glittered christmas tree, dancing along to taylor swift music, warm socks, peppermint tea, watching my nephew open his presents and all that's still to come. ♥

Film + Music: We Bought A Zoo

2011-12-08T22:25:00.001-07:00

After work we attended a pre-screening of We Bought A Zoo. I expected little. But I was captivated from beginning to end. The film inspired hope, love, beauty, adventure, enchantment, courage. & The entire soundtrack was more than fantastic. Tim, Sara, Ryan and I turned to each other when “Sinking Friendships” by Jónsi played on the screen. It’s the song that plays in our Chile video. It’s a song that sparks so much happiness, a memory of one of my own beautiful adventures in my life. It’s music that brings joy. & I’ve decided it’s what I’ll carry with me this winter.

Listen to an Exclusive Stream: Jonsi's 'We Bought a Zoo' Soundtrack at rollingstone.com.
We Bought A Zoo comes out in theaters on December 23rd. Go see it.

Short and Sweet

2011-12-01T19:24:00.000-07:00

happy things:
1. friends re-runs // 2. hot peppermint tea // 3. lotsa christmas decorations + music //
4. spending thanksgiving in tennessee // 5. cold, dark, rainy days //6. my new iphone ♥

I See Sparks Fly

2011-11-20T12:50:00.004-07:00

I'm in the Christmas spirit earlier than usual this year. The tree is already decorated with glittered ornaments. & It seems I'm just loving all things sequined and sparkly. ★ photo sources

Music: Milo Greene

2011-11-19T10:32:00.004-07:00

The Civil Wars Concert is on Sunday. & I'm actually quite excited to hear their opening act, Milo Greene. Take a listen? ★

The Hello Sessions by Milo Greene

The Year Is Almost Gone

2011-11-05T12:22:00.000-07:00

Last month was too warm. And Arizona was without a proper October. So I found myself wishing I was in Tennessee. Either bundled in a scarf and sweater in the park letting the leaves crumble beneath my feet, or walking my little dog down First Street with decorated pumpkins lighting the way.

This Halloween I drove below a stormy night sky to a small town outside the city. There I carved pumpkins with my nephew and Tiffany. We watched Ichabod & Mr. Toad while reminiscing about last year's adventures. How magical it all was. In a little over two weeks I'll be back in Tennessee, visiting mom and dad. They're working hard to have their new house ready for my visit. & I couldn't be more eager to see them. Eleven months is a long time to be separated from friends.

I think November will be better. Already full of rain and cold air that seeps through the windows and balcony door. Vanilla caramel truffle tea warms my mornings.

Brother is in town this weekend, and he'll be reunited with his son after a six month absence. They'll be staying with me, in the apartment that I'll be renewing at the end of the month. I had worried about my decision to stay here, with Ryan not renewing the lease with me. But I'm thankful this will be home for another short time. Too much change is just too much. ★

Wild Spirit

2011-10-30T13:05:00.000-07:00

"All good things are wild and free."
Henry David Thoreau

Concert Review: Taylor Swift

2011-10-24T20:07:00.001-07:00

A year ago I purchased Taylor Swift's Speak Now album, and blogged about how much I'm a fan. & On Saturday I attended the Taylor Swift concert-- where girls were decked out in sun dresses, cowboy boots and curly locks. & I'm positive the entire production was the prettiest thing I've ever seen. More so than any fairytale. Taylor's vision is breathtaking. A flying balcony, oversized screens with dreamy graphics, sparklers, glitter confetti, a revolving tree, fireworks, banjo + ukulele, a wedding scene, Romeo & Juliet ballet dancers, spiral staircases, glamorous ball gowns. It was a night that was sparkling, enchanting and simply magical. ♥

Autumn Inspiration

2011-10-15T13:08:00.002-07:00

Sources: tons of land / gtsalt / anoldent / eightsandnines / honey & jam

Clothing Line: Scotch & Soda

2011-10-02T15:42:00.000-07:00

Swooning over the collections by Scotch & Soda. The hair, the sweaters, the colors, the layers. LOVE.

Autumn Mix: October

2011-10-01T17:20:00.004-07:00

Kickin' off October with a playlist that begins with Ryan Gosling's band Dead Man's Bones. The song is a tad creepy & a ton rad. The remaining tunes are a random mix of what I'm currently liking. ♥

Concert Review: Bon Iver + Fleet Foxes

2011-09-18T00:41:00.002-07:00

I’d anticipated it for months. For one night, and one night only, Fleet Foxes and Bon Iver teamed up to deliver a killer concert. There was little time to get ready after work. So a tease of the hair, change of shirt and the slip on of black moccasins had to suffice. Dinner was salty carmel frapps and a pumpkin scone. A half hour later and Lindsey and I were in downtown Phoenix, amidst a sea of beanies, plaid, skinny jeans and black-rimmed glasses. The streets buzzing with hipsters as we stood beneath a sign with flashing red letters, “Bon Iver and Fleet Foxes.”

The venue was new to me-- large, wide, open. The perfect scene. We found our seats on the second level in time to hear The Walkmen’s performance. I’d remembered them from my days watching The O.C. Between sets the screen read, “You are at a musical concert. Congratulations.” Beautiful melodies by Fleet Foxes combined with kaleidoscope patterns on the screen kept me in a trance. And by the end I was hungry, tired and in complete anticipation of Bon Iver.

Bohemian rugs scattered across the stage. Lights in the background. There are no words to explain the next hour. All I can say is it was by far the most fantastic concert I’ve attended. I was awestruck and mesmerized from start to finish. Justin Vernon’s voice, the violinist, two drum sets, sax, french horn, trumpet, guitars, keyboards, combined into the most beautiful sound. It was everything music should be. It was art. It was inspiration. It was true. It was rad. And it all came to a close with The Wolves and Skinny Love, where the audience and all members of the band (aside from the drummers) sang and clapped in unison. The Bon Iver frontman said it best-- that night was like “f’in birthday cake.”

Note to self:

2011-09-12T20:02:00.003-07:00

Life is indeed short, friends. & Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Make the most of today.

Labor Day Weekend: Day One

2011-09-03T22:14:00.006-07:00

Picture credit: one // two

Rain clouds cover the sky, casting a shadow over the pine trees. The birds are chirping, flying from tree to tree and I can hear a dog barking in the distance. The sound of Nascar can be heard through the screen door while grandpa naps on the sofa. I put my headphones on and set my road trip playlist to shuffle. Better Home and Gardens is spread across my lap as my iPod selects The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert. “Mama cut out pictures of houses for years. From 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines. Plans were drawn, concrete poured, and nail by nail and board by board. Daddy gave life to mama's dream.” Relevant. On an earlier phone call, mom said dad has been painting their new house today. He built my childhood home when he was 25. This is their second house. He’ll be 50 in December.

The sweet tea on the wood railing is attracting bees as I lay with my back nested in an oversized, comfy beige pillow on the front porch swing. A car passes by every few minutes and I think of the time us grandkids tried to sell flowers at the end of the driveway. The sun escapes from behind the clouds and I turn off the music and go inside. Grandma’s at the kitchen table trying to figure out Facebook and how it works. I grab a handful of almonds while she asks, “How do I stop receiving Facebook notifications to my email?” and if it’s required to like or comment a status. A few social media tips later and I’m putting on my moccasins, calling my grandparent’s labrador Lexi outside with the squeak of a pink ball. She’s good at catch.

Fast forward a few hours and I help grandma clean up after dinner. Then I call mom. I'm always calling home, and once again I'm in the front swing. After the phone call the grandparents and I sit at the kitchen table, playing dominoes and eating far too many tortilla chips with spicy green salsa. I win the game, and like an old lady am ready for bed at nine. The crickets are chirping, some dogs are howling and what sounds like a motorcycle is racing down the street. Another full day will be spent here tomorrow. Many weekends over the past fourteen years have been spent here. Lying in bed in the cool air, I’m thankful.

Coffee & Writing

2011-08-28T13:55:00.000-07:00

Englander's First Crack Coffee from William Hereford on Vimeo.

coffee + writing. only two of my favorite things.

Countdown to Happiness

2011-08-25T19:27:00.004-07:00

Currently counting down to:
1. Cool weather, pumpkin spice lattes, corn mazes, Halloween decorations & all things fall.
2. Spending Labor Day weekend at my grandparents cabin in the mountains, where I can lay on the front porch swing bundled in an over-sized sweater and write, write, write.
3. Three fantastic concerts in the upcoming months--
September: Bon Iver + Fleet Foxes // October: Taylor Swift // November: The Civil Wars
4. The third season premiere of The Vampire Diaries. + The release of the second season on DVD. + Finishing the first season with one of the besties (her first time seeing the show).
5. Thanksgiving spent in Tennessee with my parents. By then it will have been 11 months since I've last seen them, and my dog (hoping she remembers me!). & Wishing for snow & some time spent in Nashville.

Q: What are you looking forward to? ♥

Video: Xoxo by Papier Mache

2011-08-21T20:22:00.000-07:00

I'm in awe of this Australian children magazine titled Papier Mache. So much fun inspiration, and could this ballet dance photo shoot be any prettier? The photos, above, and the video, below, are stunning. The video especially makes me smile. The outfits, the set, the colors, the hair. I want to wear glitter ballet flats and dance around to silly music in an old house. ♥

Papier Mache - XOXO from papier mache magazine on Vimeo.

TOT: Volume Four

2011-08-20T11:00:00.006-07:00

Currently listening to Volume 4 and past Ten out of Tenn albums-- Enjoy!

This is the perfect relaxing morning, spent getting ready before I go shopping with my grandma. A pot of Brazilian coffee newly purchased from Mee Mee's market is brewing. And the latest album from Ten out of Tenn is playing through the speakers, making me day dream that I am back in Tennessee. I can't wait for Thanksgiving. I miss the South too much.

Outdated Thoughts from Monday

2011-08-18T20:19:00.002-07:00

To be honest there has been nothing special about my blog this year. I'm busier, less inspired and more tired-- usually posting enough to keep this thing somewhat alive. To my credit, this week has been a little better. But I miss this. Writing, or rather rambling, mindless thoughts. It’s therapy for me.

I’ve been thinking inwardly lately. Evaluating myself. Criticizing myself. Lifting myself up, and bringing myself down. Loving myself. Repeat. I’ve been wandering around the blogosphere a little bit more & reading the latest tweets, with reasons why our lives are significant in spurted 140-character sentences. Well, I’m far from perfect and that’s kinda where I’m at with life. A lot has changed in 365 days. A lot is consistently/constantly changing for me. But that’s life. & Here’s my tiny, insignificant truth:

I’m twenty-two. I live on the third floor of a two-bedroom apartment with my cousin, a Republican male obsessed with Nascar, Big Brother and spin class. He’s very mellow, says little, a friend and has more witty one-liners than Seth Cohen. Just don’t let him think that. He lives in his own world, believing he’s famous. No joke. Have you seen the orange juice commercial of the guy about to board a plane? That’s the life my cousin thinks he has. But I’m thankful to have family nearby. A few relationships- not family- are a little rocky lately. Both parties are at fault. Let’s just say I’m sick of feeling unloved, unappreciated and uncared for. But more than that, I’m sick of my attitude toward it all. Someone’s rude to you. GET OVER IT. It’s their problem they’re unkind. Don’t let it poison your thoughts and actions. Learn from my current mistakes. Because I’m struggling. Big time. & I’m clearly missing my doses of unconditional love from the parents, okay? Further and further into adulthood I go.

But puppy dog kisses, Brazilian coffee, genuine kindness, coffee shop escapes and dancing + cleaning around the apartment at 10 o’clock pee-em to Raise Your Glass by Pink when the roomie is outta town can cure all that. At least temporarily. So all this inner reflection has me wondering about life, long term. My life can currently be summed up in one word: routine. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful- GRATEFUL!- for my routine. Home? Check. Food? Check. Job? Car? Double check. But I miss being a the girl who dreamt of a life of travel, writing, photo taking, live music listening, laughing, road trips, smiling, smiling, smiling. But when I think about it, is that really what I want? What do I want? From life-- or more, what does life want from me? What will I contribute? What am I contributing? If nothing, then why not? Why is the answer to everything in life tomorrow. Note to self: tomorrow sucks. Living in the moment should be the new fad.

I’m constantly thinking of all the things I want to start doing. The mindset I want to start having. I’ve seen my true potential. I know what she looks like. She’s awesome. The best friend anyone could ask for. Someone who genuinely loves the world and the people in it. One who speaks with wisdom. Never forgets, always forgives. Has the confidence of a true daughter living in the light of God. Speaking clearly, studying always. She’s beautiful. So why am I not living out my true potential? Why am I not being the person I was created to be and living the life Christ created for me? Why-oh-why I ask? The answer: tomorrow. I’ll say it again, tomorrow sucks. Today is greatness. This moment. I’m better than this.

& while all these thoughts are endless, my mind is wandering to the wind outside. & I'm putting my laptop to a close to leave Starbucks. Self, I’m disappointed in you. Don’t give up on all this, mmk?

this list is not sufficient // learn more

2011-08-15T18:56:00.004-07:00

So I know it's Monday, but let's pretend I posted this on Saturday. Sound good? Good.

1. Do not apologize for listening to the voice telling you what is right. Gut feelings are good.
2. A true friend is one who loves you in spite of yourself and your flaws.
3. It’s okay to be bitter temporarily, but never stop striving to be the better person.
4. Genuineness is rare-- goal: be full of this.
5. I hate routines. Self, be more adventurous.
6. Tomorrow was yesterday's today. Do things NOW. Time is precious.
7. "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." Stand up for yourself.
8. Puppy kisses erase all unhappiness. On an equal note, living without a dog means living with a little less love in your life.

// What are you learning this week?

Muse: The Wild West

2011-08-14T12:27:00.010-07:00

I'm currently digging: feathers, thunder + dust storms, headdresses, western films, messy hair, funky beads, braided scarves, open skies, stone necklaces + mineral rings, bohemian colors, funky rugs and wild dreams.

P.S. I am so ready for fall and the cool weather.

These images are from--
juliakostreva etsy prints // ruche desert oasis // refinery29 hair trends // spell designs // we live young // dream catcher

Film: The Help

2011-08-12T22:04:00.000-07:00

I truly LOVED this movie. It's easily my favorite film of the year, featuring the most lovable characters I've seen in a while-- Aibileen, Minny and Cecelia. & I loved Emma Stone as Skeeter, a courageous + strong-willed woman striving to be a journalist. This story made my heart happy and brought me to tears half a dozen times. And it makes me hope that maybe, just maybe, I'll put my journalism major to good use one day. All it takes is courage.

Inspiration: Pinterest Finds

2011-07-26T20:36:00.007-07:00

Fall colors + feminine touches. Trends in my pins on Pinterest as of late.

1 // Treepeople
2 // A Fun Camping Engagement Session
3 // Twig Hutchinson Interior Props

1 // Life's Width
2 // fashionmenow.blogspot.com
3 // Revisiting Vera Wang’s “Diana” dress with b.Hughes Bridal

A 365 Project by Parker Fitzgerald

2011-07-23T10:24:00.005-07:00

I am completely, utterly in love with this 365 project that was created in 2010 by Parker Fitzgerald. He uses print + photo to create simple art. I love the strength of the words, the darkness of the colors. I've visited this album countless of times. One simple phrase can leave me inspired or break me in an instance. This is the effect words have on me. Parker's work features a variety quotes- some you may have heard before, all of which are lovely. Above are just a few of my favorites. Click each photo to be whisked away to P.H. Fitzgerald's Flickr account.

psst... Please also note today's second blog post, below.

Testing Google Plus

2011-07-23T09:53:00.009-07:00

Being the complete social networking junkie that I am, I've already found myself onto Google+. I'm discovering that it's actually pretty nifty. But I'm feeling lonely in this new corner of the web. Let me know if you'd like an invite?
// kristynakmurphy@gmail.com

Currently reading [after my initial browsing has lead me to believe 90 percent of Google+ users are men]: why women users are important for google plus

Ten Years of Magic

2011-07-16T13:05:00.008-07:00

"Whether you come back by film or by page, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."

There are few things closer to my childhood than the boy who lived. I know it's nerdy, I know it's a bit obsessive. But Harry Potter has been a part of my life for the past ten years. He has been for many of us. Midnight showings. Reading the books within 24 hours of release. Owning every movie and watching them dozens of times. J.K. Rowling has created a world that I've visited countless times. A world of darkness, but more importantly of love. & It's a world I know I'll re-visit throughout the course of my life.

Last night I left the 3D IMAX showing of Deathly Hallows Part Two, after crying half a dozen times throughout the film, feeling so emotional. I waited an hour and a half before the movie, antsy for it to start. I wore large 3D glasses that covered my face and a huge smile as soon as the big shiny letters came onto the screen. Even more excited than the twelve-year-old childish me who fell in love with HP ten years ago. & Now that it's over I just don't know what to do with myself. Honestly. Aside from go to Target, purchase the first HP book (all mine are in TN with my mother) and never, ever stop reading.

Few thoughts on the movie:
1. Professor Minerva McGonagall is bad-a. Maggie Smith, I still remember you from The Secret Garden.
2. Neville- when did he get so cute?
3. This film was my favourite of the series, closest to the books I think.
4. Snape montage left me in tears. Him holding dead Lily- OH. MY. HEART. Give Alan Rickman a flippin' Oscar.
5. Helena Bonham Carter played the perfect Hermione.
6. The end- why did everyone look older aside from Emma Watson?

Video that makes me laugh--

Video that makes me cry--

Pinterest Love

2011-07-05T20:32:00.000-07:00

Things that catch my eyes on Pinterest-- follow me?

I want a barn just to throw parties.

LOVE her hair.

Grilled cream cheese + blueberry sandwich. Yyuuuss, please.

Enough said.

Sam Witwicky- sorta love him.

P.S. Leave a comment below if you'd like me to send you a Pinterest invite [limited amount to send].

Barton Hallow

2011-06-27T20:10:00.007-07:00

This music video featuring Barton Hallow by The Civil Wars was filmed at Mt. Zion Church, a charming white building perched on stones, nestled in the middle of nowhere on a little hill. On one side is the wide sparkling creek that runs beside a wide open field. & on the opposite end is a graveyard with endless trees all around. Three miles down the dusty road, my parents are building a white country home on 20 acres of land. & Oh how this video stirs up a ton of memories. The photo shoot where I roamed in the creek while wearing a ball gown. The swinging bridge that my made my little nephew terrified the first time he walked across. Splashing our feet in the water. Sitting in the shade of the trees. Walking through the graveyard, reading tombstones in the fall air. Oh how I wish I could be walking in the creek in Tennessee with mom and dad. Instead I’m here-- escaping the 110 degree desert heat, playing this song on instant repeat. Oh. My. ♥.

More of my Mt. Zion photos:

The Epic Finale

2011-06-17T16:48:00.003-07:00

Yusssss!

Bon Iver Cover

2011-06-11T16:29:00.004-07:00

The outfit. The piano. The voice.
Love, love, ♥ this pretty little video.

Photo Finds

2011-06-11T15:40:00.006-07:00

A post featuring some photo finds. Neutral colors, feminine accessories and bows. A love for print: reading, writing & the like. Coffee, coffee, coffee. Cute wittle puppies. Yes, wittle. *add baby voice* Tattoos with pretty words and typography. Girly, victorian interiors. Old brick buildings. Foreign lands. Moleskines. All the above: LOVE.

You know how women who want a baby seem to constantly see babies everywhere? Well that's me at the moment-- only instead of babies, it's dogs. This is the first year where I've never had a dog. & My goodness, do I miss mine. I miss her prancing across the room, her toes clicking the floorboards. I miss her crawling on my lap to give me kisses on the cheek. I miss her loving me, unconditionally. Sigh, wanting a dog. So. Flippin. Bad.

TV Obsession: The Voice

2011-06-07T21:16:00.008-07:00

Click here to listen.

The one half of Meg and Dia- Meg Frampton- can now be seen performing on The Voice. The Frampton sisters have been recording pretty music since 2004, but were dropped by their record label in 2010. Now Dia competes for the grand prize of a recording contract. Her performance tonight? Definitely agree with Adam Levine: "That was the most refreshing, unique thing I've seen on this show so far." To hear more, visit her Youtube channel: megANDdia.

I Want To Travel The World

2011-06-03T21:31:00.007-07:00

Crazy trees and the coolest cemetery ever (middle)

Relaxing at the acai stand, riding the bus, purchasing Havainanas at the airport

The view from the top of the bank tower

Pretty cathedrals and movie ads in Portugese

The pizzeria, free hugs, singing along to music

Before the 14 hour flight, Paulista Avenue, Arizona group photo at ZoeFest

(top) The best coffee in the world; (below) dogs at the marketplace (I wanted to save a Brazilian puppy!), delicious fruit

It seems I never write lengthy posts anymore. Always too busy.
I miss my blog. I miss the inspiration. So I promise you, I promise myself to be better.

Brazil was a good trip. Some frustrations at first, but many wonderful things. Giving free hugs (otherwise known as 'abracos' in Portugese) in the park and on Paulista Avenue. On the last Saturday, a group of us held signs on the side of the road, receiving air hugs, honks, waves and thumbs up from those driving in the crazy traffic through the rain. A whole bus even pulled over for us to give the driver a hug. Singing music together the first Saturday-- I'm Yours, Wonderwall, Skinny Love were just a few. Devouring delicious food- tapioca filled with coconut and caramel, meat at the churrascaria, the best pizza I've ever consumed, acai with kiwi and granola, and pizza pastels. Conquering crazy traffic-- riding the bus or Metro was always an adventure. Always snapping pictures of the raddest tropical trees. & Meeting new lovely Brazilian friends-- One night four of us went to a family-owned pizzeria with four Brazilian friends. Chocolate, coconut pizza was consumed. Hundreds of laughs were shared. American lingo was taught-- legit, epic, etc. & The night ended walking beneath umbrellas in the pouring rain. ♥

I Heart Adventure

2011-05-18T18:29:00.005-07:00

2009: Ireland + France + England ----- 2010: Chile ----- 2011: BRAZIL

Just Let Me Be

2011-05-15T22:14:00.002-07:00

just because

My Best Friends

2011-05-05T23:03:00.016-07:00

"Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room,

Memorize what it sounded like when your dad came home,

Remember the footsteps, remember the words said."

*Some of these moments are from when I was a little girl. Some a teenager. Some in the last year. These are but a few examples of the happy memories I have with these two. At 11 o'clock on a work night, I can't help but feel home sick.

Bonding over television shows-- The year dad & I were both Team Adam Lambert.

& we both think Seth Cohen is the best TV character.

Watching X Games. Travis Pastrana is our favorite.

Antique shopping with mom, who can make anything beautiful. She should have been an interior designer.
Dad is a genius. Perfectionist. Can create anything. Ask anyone who saw my childhood house--
which he built entirely. It was magnificent. Perfect. Flawless.

Mom & I singing along together to Sugarland in the car as I got older.

As a little girl it was Bruce Springsteen.

Escaping to their bedroom after a scary dream.

Shopping at Mervyns. Always hunting for great deals.

Lunches with Marianne. Always wanting to stop in Sees.

Always begging mom to watch a chick flick. Never having to beg dad.

Jumping on the trampoline with daddy and Clint.

Making rollercoaster videos on the Mac at Easter.

Going to work with daddy- a truck driver- with Barbies packed.

A special trip was made to purchase powdered donuts and chocolate milk.

Dad scaring Clint and I at nighttime when we had bunk beds.
He'd quietly walk up the stars. Our fear was followed by instant giggles.

Roadtrips every summer to Tennessee.

Playing in the creek, discovering, catching lightning bugs to save in a jar.

Banana splits at the square. Jumping off the waterfall.

Going out to Olive Garden for lunch.

& The casino for all-you-can-eat crab dinners with grandma and grandpa.

Going to the movies, dad trying to embarrass me by turning to mom and saying,

“You want to make out.”

Watching my parents act like silly teenagers in love.

Trips to Disneyland and Six Flags.

No trip could top the summer spent in Oregon, running with our family dog along the beach-
all while wearing my turquoise Nala sweatshirt, arm stretched out like a bird.

Mom always being there when I cried myself to sleep.

Dad always making me laugh.

“I was hiding in your car because I love.” Oh, you’d have to be there. Note: UP! inside joke.

Decorating the Christmas tree together every year. Watching Home Alone & A Christmas Story
Making turtle cookies, and a gingerbread house.

Every year the tradition of going to Supercross.

Lord of the Rings marathon on the weekend, as well as Harry Potter.

Every small moment, every big moment. Something as simple as driving in the car.

Fourth of Julys at the cabin. His Donald Duck voice.

Riding four wheelers and dad always the dare devil.

I remember cuddling up with mommy before bedtime to watch Disney classics, like Bongo,
The Reluctant Dragon and Morris the Midget Moose.

We often watched Cinderella too.

Fighting over who gets to read the new Harry Potter first.

Arguing over who’s cheating in Monopoly.
Card games with dad, and him always winning.

Conversations about God with mommy.

Watching her cry when she lost her mom.

Always staying strong.

Tangos in the kitchen.

Watching home videos together. Sometimes, I wish I was three again.

Daddy making breakfast in the mornings, and always being up early.

Coffee trips to Circle K before school started in the mornings.

Mom taking care of me when I stayed home sick from school,
like the day we watched the Aristocats together when it came out on VHS.

All the moments I complained I was bored, but now wishing I had nothing to do but sit with the parents.

Doing nothing. No fear. No stress. Just a little girl, with endless love from her parents.

Mom and dad, you have no idea how much I miss you.

I love you.

& I can't wait to see you.

sugar coma

2011-04-22T19:19:00.001-07:00

A late birthday present from a gal at work. First time I consumed a Sprinkles cupcake. Mocha flavor: divine. Red Velvet: the best. ♥

Currently Listening To: All Those Pretty Lights by Andrew Belle

Four. Twenty.

2011-04-20T17:13:00.003-07:00

Today is my 22nd birthday. That is all.

The weekend

2011-04-17T16:53:00.003-07:00

Birthday presents to myself: Tickets to see Taylor Swift in October. & A new pair of jeans. My 22nd is on Wednesday.

Friday night: Night alone with a chocolate croissant and watching Andrew Garfield in The Social Network.

Saturday: Listening to records before going to the drive in to see Arthur with friends.

Throughout the weekend: Overdosing on entirely way too much iced coffee.

Lazy Sunday: Watching The Lion King. This evening: church.

I am dreaming of...

2011-04-12T21:02:00.000-07:00

Being surrounded by an endless sea of pink.

Spending a weekend morning with a cup of coffee, paper and pen. Having no where to go and nowhere to be. Just the day to catch up and breathe.

A soothing bubble bath in a country home, where trees are taller than buildings.

& Traveling to cities, living in different worlds, peering from endless windows. Breathing the air of each place in this world.

The Apartment

2011-04-08T19:46:00.000-07:00

So much decorating left to do & pictures to hang up. But here's little bits of the apartment. ★

Movie: 127 Hours

2011-04-06T22:28:00.003-07:00

127 Hours was surprisingly brilliant. The film is based on the real life story of Aron Raston, a mountain climber who became trapped by a boulder in a Utah canyon in 2003. James Franco, who has never been one of my favorites, delivers a truly impressive performance. The cinematography is beautiful. & It's an inspiring story that makes you wonder just how far you'd go to stay alive. Overall, an incredible film that is now- quite possibly- one of my favorites. Watch the trailer below? ★

Psst... Did I mention--

2011-03-29T21:21:00.000-07:00

I move into an apartment on Friday!

Music Monday: Mat Kearney

2011-03-21T22:21:00.001-07:00

My weekend was fabulous. Two days were spent listening to free concerts in the park, featuring artists Mat Kearney, Phil Wickham, TobyMac, The Band Perry and Skillet. The artists gathered for Arizona CityFest. The artists led 60 thousand people in worship and I can't tell you how wonderful it felt to be in the crowd-- perfect weather, a slight breeze, just singing along. My absolute favorite performance was the wonderful Nashville-based songwriter Mat Kearney. I've been in love with his rapping choruses and thoughtful, poetic lyrics for quite some time. & His voice is pretty much addicting. Have a listen? ★

1. Arizona CityFest 2011, credit | 2. + 3. Skillet, photo by me

The world spins madly on

2011-03-11T22:44:00.005-07:00

After work I heard news of Japan, listening to mother describe the apocalyptic madness happening on the other side of the world. Heartbreaking terror. If only life granted me to hop on a plane. Footage of waves of debris, cars and ships floating like lava across farm land, toward homes and traffic. Helpless. Watered eyes. Sending prayers.

I escaped home early evening, bent on not remaining trapped inside four white walls. Barnes & Noble was my first destination, walking the aisles of fiction literature for over an hour, debating which novel to add to my collection. Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien, The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, and Incendiary by Chris Cleave all caught my eye, until I settled on True Grit by Charles Portis. I debated attending the movies- alone- but found myself nonchalantly walking about the outdoor shopping mall.

Mother and I talked on the phone, discussing my yearning for a home. Selfish, I think. Analyzing, reflecting, appreciating life, I waited in the 20-car line at In N’ Out. The windows were rolled down as I drove down the freeway, listening to The OC mixes. The sunroof open, catching glimpses of the sky above between slurps of chocolate shake. For a brief moment I imagined a make-believe field where no harm can touch me, gazing at the constellations. I took a detour down a desert road, near a ritzy neighborhood. It’s one of my favorite places to escape, on the top of the hill, where my eyes can behold a sea of endless city lights. ★

Hopefully sooner than later

2011-03-10T20:36:00.003-07:00

Dreaming of a place to call home. ★

This is beautiful

2011-03-03T19:07:00.008-07:00

Happiness is...

A Sunday drive to the Superstition Mountains covered in snow, windows rolled down, stopping on dirt roads to snap pictures of the desert landscape.
Playing cards at Denny's at midnight with friends while enjoying all-you-can-eat pancakes.
Winning a giveaway on the lovely Kelly Ann's blog. How cute is this necklace?!
Journaling daily in my beautiful reporter Moleskine notebook.
Confessing secrets to friends you can trust.
The anticipation of Arizona Cityfest, which includes free musical performances by the absolutely fantastic Mat Kearney and Phil Wickham.
Mochas topped with whip cream, and raspberry cookies from The Coffee Shop.
Light jackets, white flips flops, ballet dresses and necklaces that glitter in the sunlight.
The smell of spring right around the corner.
A divine romance with my King.

Rainy Day Playlist

2011-02-27T13:42:00.002-07:00

It's a rainy day, which calls for a pretty playlist. Click the 'read more' button to listen to pretty tunes. ★

Oh, how He loves us

2011-02-26T12:15:00.009-07:00

Vimeos worth watching.

Winter Illusion - A Short Film from Joe Simon Films on Vimeo.

Snow absolutely fascinates me. The fact that God crafted a snowflake with such perfect detail, each one so small, delicate and unique. I think we're like snowflakes.

99 Balloons from Igniter Media on Vimeo.

This is the most beautiful story about a beautiful little boy.

Last Minutes with ODEN from phos pictures on Vimeo.

This makes me miss my dogs so, so incredibly much. I can't tell you much Slinky was there for me during my teenage years. "A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water log stick will do just fine. A dog doesn't care if your rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he'll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?" -Marley & Me

PostSecret: Confessions on Life, Death and God from Frank Warren on Vimeo.

People are beautiful. They really are.

Words are my favourite

2011-02-21T14:53:00.011-07:00

I finally had time to go on Tumblr today, and came across the lovely Jessica from lafinparfaite. On her page are posted the prettiest quotes. I thought I'd share some here. ★

“Promise me you’ll always remember: you’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -Winnie the Pooh

"Everybody has a secret world inside of them. All of the people of the world, I mean everybody. No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid, amazing worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them. Thousands maybe." - Neil Gaiman

"So avoid using the word ‘very’ because it’s lazy. A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. Don’t use very sad, use morose. Language was invented for one reason, boys - to woo women - and, in that endeavor, laziness will not do. It also won’t do in your essays." -John Keating

"So many people are shut up tight inside themselves like boxes, yet they would open up, unfolding quite wonderfully, if only you were interested in them." -Sylvia Path

"When you look back on your life, it looks as though it were a plot, but when you are into it, it’s a mess: just one surprise after another. Then, later, you see it was perfect." -Arthur Schopenhauer

"Promise me you’ll never forget me because if I thought you would I’d never leave." -A. A. Milne

"Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity." -Henry Van Dyke

"I tell you, the more I think, the more I feel there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people." -Vincent van Gogh

"Stop and appreciate what you have today. Look at what you have with wider eyes, maybe with more compassion and more gratitude for the things that you do have and not the things you don’t have." -Michael Imperioli

"The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being." -Jitterbug Perfume

"Even if it meant that she had failed, she was glad. And if what she’d wanted had been impossible from the start, still there was a certain lonely comfort in the fact that she’d known it was impossible and had gone ahead and done it anyway." -The Little Friend

"Perhaps there is a language which is not made of words and everything in the world understands it. Perhaps there is a soul hidden in everything and it can always speak , without even making a sound, to another soul." -Sara Crewe

"Sometimes I’m terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts." -Edgar Allan Poe

"Kindness is the highest form of intelligence." -Wayne Teasdale

"I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes." -Edward Estlin Cummings

"I wonder how many people I’ve looked at all my life and never seen." -John Steinbeck

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude." -Denis Waitley

"She always had that about her, that look of otherness, of eyes that see things much too far, and of thoughts that wander off the edge of the world." -Joanne Harris

{Click for more lovely quotes.}

You're more lovely than you could ever imagine

2011-02-09T21:23:00.015-07:00

Saturdays are for sleeping in.

Busy like a bee. Work. No free evenings. Forgetting to eat. Never enough coffee.

Tired and not as inspired.

A tad annoyed about silly things. My headphones help tune those out.

But I'm happy. I promise. Just a lack of free time.

No Valentine's Day dinner party this year. Next year, I hope. Reallyyy hope.

Dreaming about decorating, designing, creating, inspiring, laughing, dancing.

Note to self: Crushes are a waste of time, silly girl. Remember?

This cold is holding on close. Still sneezing. It seems most are sick this week.

We'll talk soon. We have to. I miss you too much.

We're All A Bunch of Snowflakes

2011-01-31T14:50:00.005-07:00

I wish I could explain how different life in a small Southern town really is. I’ll admit it— while in Tennessee I worried and stressed too much. I thought my purpose there was to start my life and find a job in Nashville. Really, looking back on those four months, I realize they were simply a gift. It was a time to reflect, relax and enjoy the little things in life; a time to slow down; a change of pace; new scenery and new experiences. I was a city girl stuck in a small town, so it’s strange to think I miss it. I miss walking the dogs down little streets with pretty houses and taking the shortcuts through backyard alleyways. I miss the tiny mop dog with the funny bark who would run to the street in attempt to scare us away. I miss escaping on roads that brought you back to a different time. Below the trees and in the shadowed streets existed a different world. Looking up at the sky, I could actually see the stars. Silly adventures like hunting for a gravesite due to mother’s obsession with Ancestry dot com. An evening could be spent on a fallen tree trunk in the middle of the park, waiting for deer to pass.

I was consistently surprised at how people just let things go-- houses abandoned, barns caved in, cars covered in grass. The corner store had catfish for lunch on Fridays. The hunting section in Wal-Mart was so large that it included a whole section of pink women’s camouflaged clothing. We attended every holiday parade where I stood in the middle of the square, feeling nearly like a Gilmore girl. In the old pharmacy sits a little table in the back of the store where four old men sit and drink their 10 cent coffee. A third of the store is an ice cream parlor, serving the only real banana split I’ve ever consumed. On days where there was nothing to do, I stood in the cold outside Walgreens, waiting in line to purchase a Redbox DVD. Why they put the machine outside, and not inside, is beyond me.

Days prior to December were spent waiting for Dominic to get out of kindergarten school. Tiffany and I made few random trips to Franklin or Nashville. We walked down Music Row, stopping in cowboy boot shops. We enjoyed Caramel Apple Spices from Starbucks and extravagant cupcakes from the small stand inside the mall. Twice we listened to a free concert at the park. An indie Spanish-speaking band was our fave. In October we carved pumpkins. Dominic dressed as the Dark Knight— complete with rad Converse-- on Halloween. We walked on trails in the park, discovering hidden stairs. We swung on the swing set at the playground. Pictures were snapped as Dominic ran across the creek at Mt. Zion. We walked across the swinging bridge and skipped rocks along the water. In winter I danced in the snow. I'm still in awe at the perfect design of snowflakes. Look close, you can see it. No one the same, but each wonderfully crafted. I admired the trees as they changed from green to orange, yellow, red to nothing but bare limbs.

It all ended as quickly as it began.

Too Lazy To Think Of A Proper Title

2011-01-27T18:23:00.004-07:00

I’m going for the cliché by apologizing for neglecting my blog for two weeks. Believe me, it was unintentional. Life is hectic and I can’t remember the last free evening I had. But instead of diving into my crazy life & writing about the serious— like how I’ve been super emotional this week and it’s the first day I haven’t felt like crying. Or how I blame my zillion stupid moments today on the fact that a black cat walked in front of my car. Or how this change and adjusting is more freakin’ difficult than I thought it would be. Or how I don’t want to be the person that breaks down over not being able to see her dog everyday. Or how driving from Tennessee to Arizona for the last time in who knows how long is enough to make me home sick from a place where I only lived for four months. Or trying to explain to you that I know exactly how pathetic that all sounds. Well, I’ll talk about that later. Not that it's something worth sharing, but Lord knows I’m going to write about it. Anyway...

I’ll slowly make my way back into regular blogging by sharing three pretty things that I’d love to have once I live in an apartment of my own.

1. Antoinette Fainting Sofa from Urban Outfitters

2. Pretty pillows like this Hand-Dyed Bouquet Pillow and Gathered Velvet Pillows from Urban Outfitters

3. The above poster of John Wayne in some sort of shabby chic frame

My Oscar Picks

2011-01-12T19:21:00.011-07:00

Over the past three weeks I have seen three incredible movie, all of which should get an Oscar nod.

Black Swan: Beautifully dark. Wildly tragic, crazy and psychotic. At times-- awkward. There were moments that made me cringe. Any scene featuring nail picking, scratching or scissors made me turn my head and look away. I was convinced not doing so would make me feel pain. The special effects were incredible, especially when Natalie Portman transforms into the black swan. It's not a film I want to watch over and over, but Portman's performance was definitely Oscar-worthy.

True Grit: I knew this movie was going to be incredible because, 1. I’d seen the original and loved it & 2. Let’s face it, the Coen Brothers can do no wrong. Fourteen-year-old Hailee Steinfeld was fantastic. As for Jeff Bridges, I can’t imagine any modern day actor bringing more justice to the character of Rooster Cogburn. I’m already predicting him to win the Oscar for best actor. Now is the movie better than the original? Well, no one can compare to the Duke. I mean, John Wayne was my childhood hero. But I believe even he would be proud of Bridges’ portrayal of Mr. Cogburn.

The Fighter: I’ll start by saying I usually loathe Christian Bale. Perhaps the only movie I’ve ever semi-liked him in was 3:10 to Yuma. Even then, I preferred Russel Crowe. In every movie where he’s the star there always seems to be another actor who’s better. Public Enemies: Johnny Depp. Batman: Heath Ledger. Terminator: Sam Worthington. So naturally, I thought Mark Wahlberg was going to steal the show and I’d leave thinking more of him than just his abs. Nope. His performance was good, but Christian Bale made this movie. & I doubt you’ll catch me saying, “He’s not that great of an actor.” He’s freakin’ brilliant. Other notes: 1. Liked Amy Adams character, disliked Amy Adams. 2. The people who were not punched in this movie are the one’s who deserved it. Exhibit A: The mother. Exhibit B: The sisters. and 3. Why isn’t there a soundtrack for this movie?! ★

I Apologize for the Absence

2011-01-08T18:59:00.000-07:00

My parents dropped me off at my new home on Wednesday night after my mother insisted on buying me groceries. Wasn’t this whole process supposed to happen in college? Unexpectedly, I broke down. I just couldn’t help it. My parents are two of my best friends. We’ve been through everything together. & Now they’re making the drive across the country to Tennessee. Meanwhile I’m working in the city and renting a room from a family friend who I’ve known my entire life.

This is all good change. I’m excited to learn how to be a grownup. I’m excited about my job. Which, as far as I can tell, is going good. I’m learning a lot and there is so, so much to learn. This is how things are supposed to be right now. This is where I’m supposed to be. It all just feels right. And God worked it all out. I didn’t go searching for this job. It came to me. If I wasn’t in Arizona, in the next month I would have been moving into a fifth wheel trailer on my parents new property. Fifteen miles away from civilization. With horses as the nearest neighbors. Sharing a tiny space with my parents. Sleeping on the couch. That would not have been cool.

I do miss Tennessee. Lots. I miss the scenery, the seasons. The four months I called the South home were a gift. Sure, I over-stressed about being unemployed. & Sure my parents were concerned that I was becoming a hermit. Sleeping in, staying up late, watching Skins, Gossip Girl and The Vampire Diaries re-runs. I lived in my sweat pants. Days went by where the only place I went was a mile down the road to the nearest Redbox. Yes-- I admit it all. I was PATHETIC.

But now I feel as if everything that’s been happening and changing is another gift. Have I mentioned how much God spoils me? I am spoiled. I am loved. I am happy. I am... tired. I just know God has amazing, wonderful, exciting things in store for me. I just know it. & It seems my gut feeling has been pretty darn spot on for the past eight months.

So in short, 2011 is going to be incredible. ★

Oh, Life

2010-12-31T10:32:00.003-07:00

For the month of December I've been participating in Reverb10, an annual event and online initiative to reflect on the year and manifest what’s next. For the 31 days of December, I reflected on what's happened, and send out reverberations for the year ahead. I'm finishing up the last prompts today if you wish to take a look: Here.

Now I'm beginning 2011 in Arizona. It was originally intended to be a 10-day trip from TN to AZ with my parents to get some things out of storage. I received a text last week from my best friend saying, "Do you want an interview while you're here?" Long story short, I'm moving back to Arizona. Most likely I'll write about that later since today is for celebrating the New Year and I don't want to spend it writing a lengthy blog entry. So whoever you are and wherever you are, have a safe and wonderful New Year. 2011 will be incredible. I can feel it. ★

Happy Christmas

2010-12-24T11:32:00.000-07:00

Cat bites, "coocks" and bad journalism

2010-12-23T11:08:00.007-07:00

I took an editing class my junior year of college. I learned about headlines, different newspaper layouts, photojournalism and grammar, grammar, grammar. [Admittedly, rules of which I often break on this blog.] Occasionally we spent a class period looking at newspapers printed throughout the country. Our assignment would be to critic the front page of various publications. My professor advised my peers and I to look at small town newspapers because they usually had the worst layouts, photographs and headlines. The newspaper printed in the small town where I currently reside is no exception.

Truthfully, I refuse to read it 80 percent of the time. This is due to the fact that I can’t pick it up without 1. cringing and 2. wanting to take a red pen and edit the entire thing. Articles are placed in such a way that it’s sometimes difficult to differentiate between two separate news stories. Headline hierarchy is obviously a concept foreign to the editor. There is no font consistency. There is zero balance. And 98 percent of the stories have no significant news value. I wouldn’t consider the last fact to be a problem, considering it is a small town paper. But for the love of all that is journalism please be grammatically accurate.

Okay, now that I’ve vented on that just a bit, let’s cut to the chase as to why I’ve bothered to address this issue at all.

Last Friday my brother moved back to Arizona, leaving behind four cats for my parents to take to their new property. One cat wasn't too thrilled. When my mom attempted to place the cat into a kennel, it reacted by biting my mother between her thumb and index finger. The wound was cut clear to the bone. Blood was squirting everywhere. So naturally my mother went to the doctor where she received a tetanus shot. Apparently incidents involving a cat bite must be reported to the police. That’s a small town for you. So an officer went to the doctor's office to file a report about the incident. Five days later...

My mother made the second page of the newspaper-- the Christmas edition. Yes, the second page. Three columns. Six paragraphs. The largest headline on the page reading, "Cat bites reported in two separate weekend incidents." I reacted with hysterical laughter. I mean, really? Do the people of this town really care to know about a cat bite? Oh, I’m sorry-- two cat bites? It’s as if there was a wild rash of mad cats running amuck, attacking the innocent townspeople. And get this-- the story was inaccurate.

"It was while she was driving along [name of road] that the stray escaped his confinement and began to 'freak out.' The victim said she opened the door to allow the cat to exit. As it passed her, she said it scratched and bit her." 1. She was not driving. 2. I highly doubt my mother would have reacted by throwing a cat out of a moving vehicle, which is what the story implies.

If it wasn’t for the fact that it was the Christmas edition and the front page featured photographs from a children's play of Twas the Night Before Christmas, I’m convinced my mother would’ve made the front page.

And if that wasn’t enough...

The report beneath the article was about the death of a 22-year-old local girl. My cousin and the girl had known each other in high school. She died Wednesday afternoon in a car crash on the interstate. This article was less than a third the size of the pointless cat story. Is the newspaper really suggesting that a cat bite is more important than the death of a young girl?

I'll just end this journo rant by saying my dad and I got a kick out of the Christmas section of the paper. Kids from an elementary school had their essays and letters to Santa published-- spelling mistakes and all. I see how the paper is going for a cute factor, but the cute factor should be in what the children are writing, not their spelling mistakes. It makes the teacher appear as if he/she doesnt't know how to edit. Maybe that's just me. Maybe I'm being too harsh. But was it really someone's job to sit at a computer all day to accurately type spelling mistakes? Did the teachers not edit the essays? Were the rough drafts submitted by mistake?

Let's just say my dad and I believed a few of these essays and letters to Santa could be easily misinterpreted:

Creations of an Insomniac

2010-12-19T01:09:00.002-07:00

I can't seem to fall asleep, so I created these little collages on Polyvore. ★

The first is inspired by Marie Antoinette, dreaming about cuddling up on the couch while eating cake and being surrounded by pretty pastels. All while falling in love with Noah Calhoun or Tom Hansen (for about the millionth time), both of who- let me just say- I partially blame for my high expectations of men.

Eating Oreos and pizza while watching Just Friends? Sounds pretty darn good to me.

A glorious bubble bath followed by snacking on Starbucks ice cream (side note: yes, all these collages include unnecessary junk food) while watching Bridget Jones's Diary sounds like a perfect winter evening. If I do say so myself.

1. Marie Antoinette 2. The Grinch 3. Eloise

I'm a light sleeper, but a heavy dreamer.

2010-12-15T16:02:00.006-07:00

Today feels like a holiday with mother preparing a big feast for brother's going away dinner. I've been in a daydream all afternoon. Surrounded by ribbon, crinkled paper and empty tea cups while drops of rain stare at me from the window. Days like these make my heart smile.

These pictures are not my own. Please click for credit. ★

Somebody by Bonnie McKee
Be Be Your Love by Rachael Yamagata
Why Can't I by Liz Phair
Tuesday Morning by Michelle Branch
Dream by Priscilla Ahn
Hands on Me by Vanessa Carlton
The Call by Regina Spektor
Quelqu'un m'a dit by Carla Bruni
All Is Love by Karen O and the Kids

A Shorter Absence Than Expected

2010-12-13T13:29:00.008-07:00

Oh yesterday's happiness. Early morning and white drops of snow began to fall from the sky. One look out the frosty window and I drifted back to my dreams. Hours later I was decked in scarf, sweater, snow boots and all. The air pinched my cheeks as I twirled in the wintriness that resembled a snow globe. Picture after picture was snapped with numbing hands. Christmas tunes played a few houses down. Molly and Slinky too fearful to leave the front porch. Silly city dogs. But Chance frolicked in the sheets of ice.

The heater buzzed while the Christmas tree twinkled in the front window. Flickr updates were made, while Andrew Belle's Pandora radio station kept me company. Presents were wrapped. & My nephew's no-sew Spiderman blanket was complete after cutting & tying fuzzy material.

The night ended with a steamy cup of hot chocolate and Molly snoring on the floor beside me, as the parents and I watched old Disney cartoons from my childhood. I'd never realized how cruel those chipmunks were to poor Donald. ★

Recommended Christmas cartoons for a relaxing day.
Once Upon a Wintertime
Toy Tinkers
Santa's Workshop
The Night Before Christmas
Pluto's Christmas Tree

Will Return In One Week

2010-12-08T21:09:00.010-07:00

I'm on a blog break & will return by Wednesday, December 15th. Possibly sooner. We'll see. Meanwhile enjoy this video by Charlie McDonnell {see after the "read more" jump}. I heart him. Hope you're all doing wonderful. ★

Rambling As Usual

2010-12-04T13:09:00.006-07:00

Lately I've been sleeping the mornings away, with Slinky, my dog, curled up next to my knees while my toes desperately clench the end of floral blankets. They always have a knack for slipping out at the end, freezing and resulting in a sore throat. I blame my height. It's too comfy to leave stacks of blankets and pillows, but the clutter is getting to me. So I sit for a few minutes more, eyes closed, contemplating the day. No school or finals, no work-- that's getting to me too. I've temporarily lost focus on the little things that bring me joy: writing, designing, collaging, painting and all creative things. I suppose it's just a mini-break.

I was thinking about my pretty interiors post the other day, and how neat it would be for all the rad, unemployed bloggers to start their own business in an old abandoned brick building in the city. Who knows what sort of business. One that involves extensive writing with a mission to inspire I suppose. Or something like that. It's just a silly daydream. These are the small things that occupy my mind.

I miss company. & I'm somewhat at a loss for how to make friends in this small town. Dogs have become my closest companions. Brother dropped off his dog, Cookie, yesterday while he went to work. She had been severely wounded by his pitbull, so I spent the better part of the day comforting the poor thing. The wound was deep, leaving her coat stained with blood, which soaked through the gauze bandage that mother and I applied to her neck. Her eyes appeared as if she were in shock. But by the end of the day she was wagging her tail and licking my hand. Thankful, I think.

I didn't tell you about Thanksgiving. It was the first year we celebrated with mom's family instead of the padre's. An early lunch was replaced with a late dinner, with more desserts than usual. Though I didn't eat one piece of pie. I didn't realize this until the next day. I was a bit disappointed.

A new year is around the corner. & I'm hopeful that it will be better than 2010. It's not that 2010 was necessarily bad. Just a lot of change and new things. Surreal. A lot of great things happened, despite being drenched in fear for the majority of the year. Magnificent things. Perhaps the greatest things ever. Like making new friends who I consider more family than friends. & Of course all of you. Isn't it funny how Twitter and Blogger has allowed us to be a part of each other's lives-- even if in the smallest of ways? I'm so thankful for that. & I'm thankful for you. ★

P.S. Pictures are not my own. Click for credit.

Hello, December

2010-12-02T18:37:00.002-07:00

It feels as if I've had a constant headache for the past week or so. Feeling this way has me uninspired to write at the moment, to be honest. & I feel as if my brain has been complete mush. Pray this doesn't last for the rest of the week? I hope some more pretty pictures & a playlist will suffice. ★

DECEMBER PLAYLIST
Maybe This Christmas by Ron Sexsmith
Just You and Me by Zee Avi
The Show by Lenka
Open Happiness by Cee-Lo Green
Under the Bridges of Paris by Dean Martin
Each Coming Night by Iron & Wine
Ba Ba by Sigur Ros
Tell Me (Clock Opera Remix) by Au Revoir Simone
Porcelain by Helen Jane Long
Make It Without You by Andrew Belle
Charmed Life by Joy Williams

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The song Just You and Me by Zee Avi can be found for free, along with nine other songs courtesy of Kate Spade's Twirl Playlist.

Pretty Interiors

2010-11-28T22:31:00.007-07:00

I'm swooning over these pretty rooms. Be sure to "read more" to see more pictures.

Almost too much prettiness for one post. I've always thought it would be the neatest thing to live in an abandoned building with wooden flooring and brick walls {like picture 12}. & I used to dream about living in a big city like New York on London, in a flat with a stunning view of all the city lights. Maybe some day. ★

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-24T22:14:00.004-07:00

Comments are disabled; please leave comment in previous post. ♥

I miss my favorite five-year-old

2010-11-24T12:00:00.013-07:00

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. How are such things even possible? Most things feel misplaced. Twinkling snowflakes hang from lampposts in the closest town. Nighttime begins at 5 p.m. The days in which it's not raining, there's an overcast. & Last Friday my nephew and my brother's girlfriend moved back to Arizona, & brother is soon to follow. Days are no longer the same without hearing my favorite person randomly say, "I love you, Kris" or "You're my best friend." & The exchange of jellyfish high-fives and shark handshakes has come to an end. {Inspired by this video at 5:46.} At least for now. ★

Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows ϟ

2010-11-19T11:25:00.022-07:00

I had to post something in anticipation of seeing Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows at 9:35 p.m. I'm sure there will be a longer post to follow. SO. INCREDIBLY. EXCITED! I've watched the trailers dozens of times today to hold me over for the next nine hours. & Think I just might watch The Half-Blood Prince for the second time this week. ϟ

SHORT UPDATE: The parents and I finally saw The Deathly Hallows. I'd planned on a longer post, but a short opinion will suffice. Let me just say, it was brilliantly epic, aside from hearing scattered snores from my father throughout the film. & I was quite pleased with how closely it mimicked the book. Now there's just a hole in my heart that won't be filled until July, when part two is released. ★

Picture credit: acciocap

I Can't Sleep

2010-11-18T21:02:00.004-07:00

It seems some teenage habits don't burn out.

The light still flickers between the hours of midnight and three a.m.

Thoughts like shouts. Who needs nightmares?

I learned young that tossing and turning isn't a viable option.

Fear releases the instant ink hits paper and fingers tap buttons on the keyboard. Released.

Past emotions filed in word docs and forgotten journals.

Years of memory on trashed papers and floppy discs, lost in technological gaps.

Tap, tap, tap.

Words replace doubt, draining all thought until I can close my eyes.

This is how it's always been.

This is how it will always be.

Writing. Typing. With inky pens and broken keys.

Never read, never seen, never felt again. ★

A Never-Ending List of Lists

2010-11-17T11:16:00.003-07:00

As if I needed another social media account, I can now be found on listography dot com. I've been fascinated with the listography books to where I've added the friends edition to my wishlist. Recommend a list for me to complete? & Be sure to share the link to your listography page if you have one. ★

What's the meaning of Starbucks?

2010-11-16T00:18:00.015-07:00

"The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino." -Joe Fox, You've Got Mail

Starbucks is more than just coffee. To me, Starbucks means: free wifi, an office space, pretty music, rad art, low lighting, a peaceful atmosphere, friendly baristas, comfy chairs, therapy sessions with Lindsey, bible studies, toasted bagels, venti nonfat iced mochas, holiday spirit and meaningful conversations.

It's where I've participated in 'pay-it-forward' chains. It's where I most likely gained my share of freshman fifteen. It's where the cute Zac Efron/Chad Dylan Cooper look-alike worked down the street from my old house. In London, I learned it's where you're charged an extra 50p if you decide to dine in. It's where they used to sell toffee almond bars. {Side note: Why they ever stopped making these delicious treats is beyond me.} It's where 9 times out of 10, the baristas write 'Christine' on my cup instead of Kristyna (or Cristina or Christina). & It's where, from time to time, one receives a free cup of coffee if they mess up the order of the person in front of you.

Starbucks: Lovely. Magical. Remarkable. & I miss having one closer than forty miles away. What do you think of when you think of Starbucks? ★

Simple Sunday

2010-11-14T11:47:00.007-07:00

It's one of those days where all I want to do is listen to Ella Fitzgerald, Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra. All while curled up on the couch in a long, slouchy cardigan. Looking at pretty pictures, reading pretty words.

Song: Someone To Watch Over Me by Ella Fitzgerald
Click all images for credit. ★

Out Here It's Like I'm Someone Else

2010-11-11T00:32:00.003-07:00

Picture Credit: Israel Guevara

It’s only right to mention the trip back. Back to the familiarity, yet expecting it to be different. A three and a half hour flight only proved time hadn’t stopped. The same beef jerky man sits on the corner of my childhood street, waving to cars as they pass. The same high mountains and open skies. The same cactus, sun and heat. The same stop light that always seemed to last forever. Hundreds of nights sitting with the stereo blasting, hurrying home to meet curfew. Home. It still sits at 736. Only there was no turn in the driveway. There were no words. There was no... nothing. Like a friend that suddenly becomes a stranger. I just drove past, only catching a glimpse of the french doors open to my old bedroom.

Bestie and I escaped to the movies several times. Harkins was always a safe place for the both of us. & A reunited Starbucks meeting with Lindsey made me miss our therapy sessions more than ever. Dinner with the grandparents. Bingo with cousin and Sara. Half-priced appetizers at Applebees with Padre. Just like the three months prior.

& To express my excitement on being reunited with Team Transparent would make this an even lengthier entry. There was staying up late and waking up early. Painting walls, building playgrounds, playing card games and making several stops at QT-- only the best gas station of all time. Late night dinner at In N’ Out, sharing orders of french fries. It ended too soon. Hugs exchanged with the LA & AZ teams and it was back to Nashville in the a.m. Back to the new reality, knowing friends are only a Skype conversation away. ★

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-30T10:01:00.006-07:00

Over the past three to four years I have always hosted a Halloween dinner party for my friends. We'd eat endless amounts of yummy food and play games at the house. Sometimes we'd carve pumpkins. Sometimes we'd go to the corn maze. Each year was a different theme. Last year it was something to do with vampires and the prior year was a masquerade. There'd be a playlist and we'd wash the night down with sparkling apple cider. It was tradition.

This year, now that I'm halfway across the country, things are a bit different. For one thing, the town paper has announced all trick-or-treating will occur today, since Sunday conflicts with church. This is the Bible Belt of America, after all. I'm celebrating the day with my nephew, sister-in-law (Tif) and madre. My nephew and I have already carved pumpkins. There's still going to be tons of yummy food-- creme puffs, puppy chow, macaroons and the like. & I'm sure the evening will consist of The Vampire Diaries season one, after watching Ichabod & Mr. Toad (of course). & This year is the first time I get to hand out candy to little kids. At our old house we had a long driveway so no one ever came to our door. We probably had a total of two trick-or-treaters over the span of 20 years. So I'm super excited for this year. ♥

What are your plans for Halloween? Are you dressing up?

Pictures: 1. Last year's Halloween dinner party & decorations. 2. Last year's Halloween dinner party-- with our fangs. 3. My pumpkin. 4. Nephew's pumpkin.

I was enchanted to meet you

2010-10-25T14:43:00.003-07:00

I can remember the first time I heard Taylor Swift on the radio. I was a 16-year-old in my first serious relationship. I was driving in my car on my way to my grandparent’s house. It was nighttime and I had an inkling to listen to country music. That’s when the lyrics “he says the way my blue eyes shine put those Georgia stars to shame that night” first played through my car speakers. And I suppose I’ve been a Taylor Swift fan ever since.

I own every Taylor Swift song there is to own, including her rap with T-Pain titled Thug Story. I swear I can relate to every song she’s ever written and that she had to have used parts of my life as source material. Well, not really. But I think it’s a bit ridiculous that I can even relate to a silly rap with the word thug in the title. As if I weren’t obsessed enough, I own all the sheet music to Fearless and I have Fifteen down nearly perfect on the piano. I’m quite proud, considering a year ago I couldn’t play a single note on my keyboard.

I guess my point is I’m a major Taylor Swift fan, no matter how many songs she writes about the middle Jonas. Despite many thinking her stardom is the result of Kanye’s insults. Despite her not always being the greatest vocalist. Taylor Swift is, regardless, a genius when it comes to writing pretty lyrics. & As someone who also has to have the last word, I actually love the fact that she has the courage to speak her mind no matter how much hate she receives in return. Which is why this Music Monday is dedicated to her newly released album, Speak Now.

Today I drove forty miles, across the Alabama/Tennessee line, to the nearest Target. All this just so I could purchase the Deluxe Edition of her new album. I've concluded that Sparks Fly, Enchanted and Haunted are my new favorites. Oh, and Better than Revenge. And Innocent. & Back to December. & I can definitely relate to the Never Grow Up lyrics at the moment. I'd say the whole album is pretty much terrific. ♥

Q: To Taylor fans, what do you think of the new album? To Taylor haters, instead tell me what musician can you totally relate to?

Molly is my pretty girl

2010-10-22T22:46:00.003-07:00

Today consisted of puppy dog kisses. Oh & ...

Coffee. Of course. ♥

Music, um, Thursday?

2010-10-20T23:07:00.010-07:00

I first heard First Aid Kit, well, about an hour ago via Tumblr. Let me just say, I've already fallen in love. Their music is definitely one of the prettiest things I've stumbled upon in quite a while. The two Swedish sisters, Johanna Söderberg and Klara Söderberg, have voices that are angelic, exquisite and pure. & Their harmonies are incredible. Considering many of their lyrics discuss death and decay, I'd say their music is pretty much perfect for an autumn day spent driving on roads covered in fallen leaves. Especially days where my mother has me accompany her to search for abandoned cemeteries in the woods because of her obsession with ancestry dot com and her eagerness to know more about her ancestors. Don't you agree?

This is me at the moment, take it or leave it

2010-10-18T19:19:00.001-07:00

I’m not a rockstar. I consider myself to have three accomplishments— 1. I’ve traveled outside the United States, 2. I paid my way through college thanks to graduating a year early in high school and receiving a full ride, 3. I finally left Arizona. ~~Most of the time~~ At times I view myself in a negative light, feeling as if at 21 years old I’ve failed. I don’t have a job. I live with my parents. I’m a dependent independent. If that makes any sense. I haven’t made the full transition to adulthood. Although God knows I’m trying. And while I write the word “trying” there lurks another word: failing.

I suppose that’s okay. I’m an individual trying to live her life to the best of her ability. I have my positives and negatives. I have awesome friends, granted they live across the country. I’m blessed. I’m spoiled. I get to sleep in on week days— one of the perks to those of us who are jobless. The feeling crappy about yourself and not being independent part, on the other hand, sucks.

I don’t go to glamourous parties. I don’t have a killer job. I’m not exactly a world traveler. (I’m a wannabe in that department.) I don’t have an awesome apartment in some rad city like New York. I live in a small town where the biggest thing is Walmart. The only thing getting me through my day is the promise that this too shall pass, when most days I feel like bunching my knees to my chest, closing my eyes and continuing to fear an unlived life.

Yet somehow I’m convinced it will all be okay.

Chi-chi-chi Le-le-le Viva Chile!

2010-10-12T22:34:00.003-07:00

Second photo: Bracelet I haven't taken off since my trip to Chile.

Oh, my heart. Tonight I sit glued to my computer screen as I watch CNN Live. Cheering. Praying. Sobbing like a child. Thirty-three miners stuck in a 500 square foot space for 69 days (other reports have said 68, 70, whatever... A LONG TIME). Once again reality proves life could always be so much worse. Once again I sit in awe of how good God truly is. Three Chileans have been rescued so far and reunited with their families. The second man gave rocks to rescuers as presents and asked his wife, "How's the dog?" So much happiness and hope. To keep this short, my heart is with Chile. & Shout to the Lord for thankfulness. Chi-Chi-Chi Le-Le-Le Viva Chile! (P.S. Hearing the Chileans yell this made me grin from ear to ear because I've not heard this chant since I left Chile in August.) ♥

Lazy Days and Mondays

2010-10-11T18:38:00.006-07:00

The worst part of the day was spent continuing the job hunt via Craigslist. The better part of the day was spent consuming low-fat hot chocolate, changing my Tumblr theme, admiring Mariannan's blog and now-- watching the first season of Gossip Girl, after much indecisiveness.

Please tell me your day was more exciting...

Happy Tuesday

2010-10-05T19:34:00.006-07:00

REASONS TO SMILE

I'm staying with a friend in Nashville this week.
I consumed the most delicious Mint Chocolate Chip shake from Steak n' Shake today.
I finally have a job-- doing freelance PR work. P.S. I'm still searching for another job.
It's October aka my favorite month. Which also means it's sweater season. Enough said.
Beauty and the Beast aka my fav Disney movie was released on DVD today.
Taylor Swift's new album releases later this month + her Speak Now single was released today.
I'm currently undefeated in a Fantasy Football League. My Southern Pixies are 4-0.
I'm traveling to Arizona the first weekend of November & get to see Team Transparent.
The fair came to town last week. By the way, truck/tractor pulls: not so bad.
I finally purchased the hat I've been wanting after weeks and weeks of debating.
Have I mentioned it's October?! & I currently reside in one of the most beautiful states. Ever. ♥

What has you smiling, reader?
P.S. For various reasons, I thought the above Flickr favorites were fall-worthy.

Autumn Playlist

2010-09-28T10:14:00.009-07:00

Orange, yellow, red leaves fall with the wind as acorns land on rooftops, the sound like cracks of lightning. Evenings are spent walking our yellow lab past rows of pretty houses with mowed yards and dogs that bark until you disappear. Porches are covered in Halloween decor-- pumpkins, scarecrows and the like. Grass growing down the middle of alleyways lead the way. It's hot chocolate season. The laughter at the fair grounds can be heard from the front porch while I sit bundled under covers at the first sign of cool weather. All the while this playlist keeps me company:

1. Time Is A Runaway- The Alternate Routes 2. Chances- Five For Fighting 3. When You're Ready- Kate Earl 4. Lovesick Mistake- Erin McCarley 5. Cosmic Love- Florence + The Machine 6. Back To Me- The All-American Rejects 7. All This Time- OneRepublic 8. The Mess I Made- Parachute 9. Bloodstream- Stateless 10. We'll Be A Dream- We The Kings 11. In Your Skin- Lifehouse 12. Here We Go- Mat Kearney 13. Run- Leona Lewis 14. Open Arms- Gary Go 15. Secrets- OneRepublic 16. The Ladder- Andrew Belle 17. Beauty of the Dark- Mads Langer 18. Under My Bed- Meiko 19. All We Are- Matt Nathanson 20. Animals- Neon Trees

What's on your playlist?

My Indifference Toward Marriage

2010-09-21T14:56:00.009-07:00

Anyone who truly knows me knows this: I don’t want to get married. None of them, on the other hand, really know why. Or if they do they should enlighten me because it’s something I’ve lately been trying to answer myself. I’m surrounded by many beautiful, successful marriages. So why wouldn’t I want the same the happiness of my parents and grandparents? Have I given up on love? Am I an extreme feminist who hates all men? Do I spend too much time reading statistics on how 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce? The answer to all the above-- No.

It’s not that simple, condensed or cut throat. Instead it’s a lengthy, drawn out mixture of reasons, beliefs and- to be honest- girlish stupidity. All of which led to 20-something me waking up one morning and declaring my indifference toward marriage.

The reason this is a drawn out mixture of things is because I can never keep a long story short. I’m too much like my mother. I ramble. I share more information than people care to know. While my mother talks this way, I write this way-- at least when it comes to this blog. I feel the need to write, "Warning: Excessive rambling. Read at your own risk." before every entry. Everything else I keep short and straightforward. That’s what journalism majors are supposed to do. But here I break the rules. So before I get any more off topic, let’s see if we can both get through this next bit of rambling. Shall we?

REASON #1:
The obvious choice: My past. Enter sixteen-year-old me. I was a senior in high school who believed I didn’t want to date until after graduation. Boys were immature and I had more important things to focus on, like remaining a good little girl and graduating a year early. Like most girls who haven’t been in a relationship, my viewpoints of dating were shaped by my fellow peers, chick flicks and TV drama. None of which are reliable sources. I was naive + I was stupid. Just like everything else in life-- we rarely know what we’re talking about until we find ourselves in that situation, whatever it may be.

So here’s the overview: I met a boy. I fell in love with said boy. This boy lusted after another girl who became a serious problem. Throw in verbal, emotional and a pinch of physical abuse. Before we get overly dramatic, like both my brother and mother have done in the past, I was never beaten. Nevertheless I had several bruises during this relationship from where this boy would grab my arm or wrist and refused to let me leave. So I broke up with this boy and regrettably we were together again a month later. The abuse continued and the other girl was still a part of the picture. Like an idiot I stayed in the relationship another six months until I received a wake up call-- my grandmother died. I came home from her funeral in Tennessee with the realization that I didn’t want to be like her and experience one bad relationship after another. So I ended it.

Now somewhere in that little overview, my heart was broken. I’d given my heart to a boy I thought I could trust. In a dramatic, yet realistic sense a part of me had died. As a naive girl I’d unconditionally loved this boy. I spent a winter vacation after our first split sleeping on the couch, crying in Bella-nightmare-like hysterics while my mother combed her fingers through my hair night after night + calmed my question to, “Why didn’t he love me?” It’s a tragic tale that’s all too common. It’s the continuing story of another heart not handled with care, from both parties. A story sometimes viewed insignificant, with the belief that teenagers can only experience adolescent love, as if their hearts don’t have the capacity to love as deeply as adults. When really isn’t it the other way around? We become so hardened over time with such experiences that we don’t dare to love as freely as we once did. We take more precautions. Sometimes being too cautious. Or at least, that’s my story.

From that first relationship I learned this: 1. There’s a reason God said, “Guard your heart for it’s the wellspring of life.” 2. I don’t trust my taste in men. 3. I refuse to let history be repeated.

So what did I do? I dated a guy completely opposite of the first... five months later. He was a nice guy, by all means, but my respect for him was zero. He was in his early twenties, didn’t have a car and never held a job in his life. We dated for about six months. I never loved him and as far as I know he never loved me. In the time we were together I had issues. For one, I had trust issues. Second I was still dealing with a broken heart. My annoyance with myself carried into an annoyance of him, so I ended it. It was a relationship that, for a very long time, I regretted. It was a rebound. It was pointless. And it was unfair to him. I had issues that I didn’t understand. While on a smaller level, they’re issues that I still don’t completely understand.

Somewhere in those two relationships I’m sure are hidden several reasons why eternal singleness sounds pretty darn good. But I think reason #1 can be pretty much summed up in: I have trust issues with men... at least when it comes to matters of the heart.

REASON #2
I’m still learning-- about life, about who I am and who I’m meant to be. I crave travel. + I’m convinced my mentality of marriage is a good thing for a gal in her twenties. Well not every gal necessarily, but this gal. It’s allowing me to focus on my journey, whatever that entails.

BELIEF #1
This belief is the big one-- God. + Its’ a sure sign that I haven’t given up on love. Why? Because I’m head over heels in love with Jesus. + I’ve been in a deep, romantic relationship with My King since I was fifteen years old. Before I go any further, I want to say that the intention of this post is not to preach or to convince you of anything. I’m here to say I’m a girl who believes, whether you do or not, that there is a God that I can trust with my heart. There is a God who loves me so deeply that it was worth His death on a cross. & No matter how imperfect I am, His love is unfailingly perfect.

Our relationship has been full of its ups and downs. God knows I’ve had trust issues, with Him especially. For quite some time I built my confidence in past relationships and how I was viewed by men. That confidence was destroyed and left me in a very dark place. A place I didn’t believe, or trust, I could be pulled out of. And if I was going to make it out, heck-- I was going to do it on my own. So in many ways I turned my back on God while He patiently waited by my side. Over a year and a half process I slowly learned how to trust God again and in His beautiful, mysterious ways He brought me out of darkness.

His perfect love is the most real thing I know. Without a shadow of a doubt, I know there is a God who loves me unconditionally. There is a God who will never leave my side no matter what I say or do. There is a God who thinks I’m beautiful. There is a God who calls me daughter, friend and a princess. I am loved unconditionally by the Creator of the Universe. & Heck, that’s good enough for me.

So that leads to this: While I say I do not want to get married, I’m not naive enough to not know that God sometimes has other plans for my life. That sometimes- most of the time- okay, all the time-- His plans are better than my own. So I may or may not get married one day. I’m content with not knowing. I’m content if I stay single. & I’m not stupid enough to think this is how I’ll always feel about marriage. This is simply my thoughts right now, as a 20-something trying to make her way in the world.

GIRLISH STUPIDITY #1
Even if I wanted to get married, I’d still say: God help the man who would be stuck with me for the rest of his life. Amen.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
So let me sum this up before I forget whey I even decided to write about this topic in the first place. Oh yeah, I wanted to figure out why I don’t want to get married. I’m already questioning whether or not to post this because quite frankly I think I come across as a lunatic at least half the time in my writing. Bless you for putting up with me, reader. You’re a doll.

Let's just say everyone has an icky past. There are things we aren’t happy about, things we sometimes regret. But those are usually the things and the moments that shape our character. They’re the things that make us strong and help us grow. My past just so happens to have shaped me into a person who is indifferent toward marriage. & That’s okay. Maybe marriage isn’t for everyone. & if that’s the case, why spend my time trying to find the right guy? I’d rather put my energy into the things I love-- like travel, writing, my relationship with Christ, my friends, my family and so on. Since I was a young girl my grandfather used to tell me all I needed to do in life was to marry a rich man. I would always respond along the lines of, "Why can't I support myself instead?"

If writing this post has taught me anything it’s that my mentality toward marriage is not a bad thing. + That there could be more reasons why I don't want to get married that I don't even know about. That's all a part of this journey of discovering who I am. Sure I may still have a few issues-- who doesn’t? Sure I don’t trust a guy with my heart, but I trust God with my heart. And if marriage somehow is written in the stars for me, He’ll take care of it. + That’s good enough for me.

Feel free to share your thoughts on marriage, reader.

10 Things I’ve Learned Since I Moved To The South

2010-09-14T11:25:00.016-07:00

1. Eating can become a hobby. Call it a hunch, but I’m willing to bet there will be some sort of eating contest at the upcoming state fair. This is the land where everything is fried and BBQ has its own special place on the food pyramid. So it’s easy to understand why Tennessee is the second fattest state in the nation (tied with Alabama), where 31.6 percent of the adults are obese. In the small town where I currently reside, it appears the only thing more popular than Walmart is the dozen or so fast food restaurants that sit off the main highway. & Many of the food items found at Wally World look as if they belong in a Costco or Sam’s Club because of their economy-like size. Let's just say, I miss Fresh & Easy and I’ll stick to having my food grilled, not fried.

2. I don’t need a microwave, television or a Starbucks. More than half our (parents & I) belongings are still in boxes. I forget what we own. I’m sure what remains packed away consists of things worth keeping. At the same time, I am sure they are things that I don’t necessarily need. What I do need is internet, my camera and a washer. Which I thankfully, finally have. We also now have a fridge, after using a cooler for a week. Here’s what I have unpacked: About a fifth of my clothes, two books, camera, laptop and DVDs. Basically I feel as if I’m living at a hotel and not, at least officially, at a home. Here’s to adjusting to a minimalist lifestyle and being content with my circumstances because Lord knows that I know things could always be much, much worse.

3. Auctions are more rad than yard sales. I woke up on Saturday and drove six streets over to a house with a lawn covered in knick knacks, furniture and antiques. Each person received a paper with a number. There was a man with a microphone speaking so fast that he reminded me of a cartoon character. “Five, ten, ten, ten, anyone at fifteen, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, sold to number [whatever].” People would nod their heads to stay in the bidding war. We walked away with several treasures, despite mother getting outbid on a beautiful wingback chair, piano stool and two kitchen stools. I snagged an antique Remington typewriter for five bucks. I swear it weighs about sixty pounds. Score! One lady said she had paid over 100 dollars for one just a week prior. We also snagged a box that contained an old film projector and several old cameras, including one of the original Polaroids. Pretty nifty in my opinion. We also left with a box of dishes, an old suitcase and vintage pans perfect for baking. It’s decided-- we’re going to another auction this Saturday.

4. Sweet tea is the best thing since sliced bread. & if I’m not careful, drinking this sugary goodness just might become a hobby as well.

5. Amish people, well here’s what I know: If you want anything well-built, as in furniture or hardwood floors, they are your go-to-peeps. If you’re looking for fresh produce, skip the grocery store and head a few miles down the road to their little shop. They eat at McDonalds, shop at Walmart and ride horse drawn buggys wherever they go. They’re kind. For instance, they get out of your way if you’re driving behind them. No car, or bicycle, or person ever did that in Arizona. They don’t use electricity or tractors-- only the old stuff. If you wave to them, they wave back. Oh & they're always packing... igloo coolers that is.

6. Sexism and racism are very much alive. You might be thinking, “No duh.” & I should clarify that it’s merely more visible here. Even those who claim they are not racist still unknowingly categorize whites, blacks and Mexicans into racial categories. The best example of racism and sexism I can give you is this: I know someone who has said that they would think it okay for their son to date a black woman, but would disown their daughter if she dated a black man. Many people here agree with such viewpoints. I am certainly not one of them. My strongest dislike on the planet is racism. & Several comments I’ve made over the past few years have left some asking, “Are you a feminist?” To that I say, "Yeah, a little bit."

7. I’m proud of where I came from. I would choose the Cardinals over the Titans any day. I like that I don’t have an accent, even if it does mean receiving odd glances from strangers. I like wearing Vans instead of Crocs, and blouses instead of pink camo. I like being a city girl. I like that Mesa, Arizona will always be my hometown.

8. Life in the slow lane is not my cup of tea. Right now my life is equivalent to the 35 mph speed limit through town. I’d rather be going 60.

9. “No matter where you run, you just end up running into yourself.” Paul in Breakfast at Tiffanys said it best. This has always been one of my favorite quotes. & I keep learning over and over again that it’s true. I still must. find. a job. NOW. So I can be out on my own. FINALLY. & It’s no easier a task than it was back in Arizona. & The ones I love are facing a reality that is no easier 1600 miles across the country. At the end of the day, the one thing you always have to deal with is YOU.

10. The South, simply put, plays by its own rules. It’s acceptable to drive in the middle of the street if you’re on roads outside of town. It’s acceptable to shoot someone for coming onto your piece of land, which is why driving across all creation looking for property to buy can be dangerous. People do not receive equal punishment under the law because it all depends on who you know or who you’re father is. Dogs roam freely. If you dare to drive past their house, you sometimes get chased for half a mile. I’ve also heard rumor that you only get busted for pot if you’re not the main supplier to the statewide officials. Marvelous.

♫ Tune: In The Middle by Rodney Atkins

More Flickr pictures:

Travel All Across This Land

2010-09-08T19:52:00.015-07:00

My parents are on the constant hunt for a house. We're currently renting a place, while I continue to search for a job in Nashville. Mom and I continued to search for property today. I decided to snap some pictures. Here's the result.

More pictures can be found below.

Side note on the mennonite picture: The young man driving the buggy appeared to be my age and was quite handsome. Not that I'm turning Amish any time soon (or ever, for that matter), but I thought this was worth mentioning.

Click photos to see larger image. If you'd like to comment, please do so on the previous post.

Free As We'll Ever Be

2010-09-08T10:37:00.010-07:00

There are few things more freeing than driving down narrow, windy roads at dusk, the windows rolled down and the humid air blowing through the car. You can hear bugs makings a fuss in the woods. The air is a cool 68 degrees. Roads are consistently branching into more and more roads. You could easily get lost out here. Thankfully, there's a GPS system. I've developed Deckadeeraphobia, the fear of my car hitting a deer at any possible moment. Kidding, but still. There's also the possibility of hitting an armadillo or dog. Move to another city with no open highways and you have me, known to go five over the speed limit, driving under 35 mph. Tomorrow marks two weeks of our arrival in Tennessee. I'm realizing I love it here. The South really is a beautiful place. A bit strange and unusual at times, but beautiful all the same. ★

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I can not thank you enough, readers. Your comments on my last post were a wonderful encouragement. You truly are little shooting stars in my world, sending me glimmers of light in all my dark moments. I love you.

This Is My Temporary Home

2010-09-04T10:40:00.004-07:00

Tennessee is endless green. The past week we’ve escaped down small roads, driving below tree branches with the sun peering through the leaves. The roads are bumpy, curvy and scattered with potholes. Driving up and down hills, never knowing what lies on the other side or around the bend. The air is humid, but cool. Every few days clouds appear and sprinkle rain.

We’re renting a small brick house located on a street in town. On our first day the neighbors walked up our drive to introduce themselves. We thought perhaps we’d parked wrong on the street. It never occurred to us that someone might simply stop by to give us a friendly hello and welcome. One night we were standing outside at 12:30 a.m., talking to brother and Tif. Apparently we were too loud because the neighbors flicked their lights on and off. It reminded mom of a father signaling for his teenage daughter to stop making out with her boyfriend in the driveway.

It takes five minutes to get to where you’re going. There are plenty of fast food joints and dollar stores, plus a Walmart. The closest Target, Starbucks, Barnes & Noble and mall can be found forty miles away. There are no sunsets. The sun merely escapes behind the trees. Bug bites cover skin. Ninety percent of the radio stations are country. Things are much slower, with the normal speed limit at 35 mph. With Arizona plates, cop cars follow you everywhere. It’s common to see a horse and buggy driving down the street, carrying the produce grown by the local mennonites. Customer service is like almost everything else... slow. Small town life simply isn’t my cup of tea. I’m a city girl, born and bred. But for now, this is my temporary home.

A friend of mine said I’d probably get home sick after a few weeks. But it came much sooner. Sitting on the window seat in my old house, I watched as the new owner told mom, “It already feels like home.” It suddenly hit me as I thought, “This is it.” Three breakdowns occurred over the three days spent driving to Tennessee. Mom kept repeating, “It’s all going to be okay.”

Unhappiness stayed with me the first few days here. But I’m focused on remaining content with my circumstances. I desperately want a job, but the right one will come at the right time. I’m trying not to get impatient. Somehow, for reasons God only knows, this is where I’m supposed to be.

won't take nothing but a memory

2010-08-22T17:27:00.011-07:00

I move to Tennessee on Tuesday. I leave bright and early in the morning. Everything has been packed away. The house is empty. The walls are bare. Childhood home, this is goodbye. The heated desert known as Arizona will no longer be my home next week. And I'm okay with that. I'm at peace. I'm excited for whatever lies ahead, for the next chapter. In fact, it almost has me giddy. Weird.

I have so much to say, so much to tell. I have about ten files saved on my computer that are intros of what should have been blog posts. But my mind has wandered far too much lately. I'm just watching all these changes from a distance. Just letting them happen + letting things be + letting God have control.

I'll update you all later. Once I'm in Tennessee. Once it's finally hit me that this is all actually happening.

transparent project chile 2010

2010-08-15T11:17:00.006-07:00

Transparent Project Chile 2010 from Chaim Diesto on Vimeo.

Please take the time to watch this video about my recent trip to Chile. I love my Team Transparent family and everyone in this video. Note: If you couldn't tell, I'm the one in the beginning with the white shawl/scarf wrapped around my neck, sleeping on the bus. I'm also at about 0:38 at Venice Beach, and can be seen a few other times throughout the video. This wonderful video was created by Chaim, the leader of the LA team. & I'm told he's going to be making a few more about the trip. So stay tuned because I'm sure this won't be the last time you hear me write about Chile. I miss it every day. Enjoy.

the past three weeks in pictures

2010-08-10T16:38:00.006-07:00

Team Arizona with their plane tickets at LAX | Venice Beach, night before we left to Chile

VBS Day, Sebastian and I | VBS Day, Carlos and I

Emergency Village | Brick Day

Christopher and his family | Playing Scum card game in the girl's room

Brick moving team with Maria, who let us borrow tools | Team Transparent with the mayor of Rancagua

Andes Mountains with AZ girls | Kids at Emergency Village

VBS Day- Alma, Sara & I with kids | Santiago, our last day in Chile

Home, bright days ahead | Shoes

Hoover Dam, random road trip to Vegas this past Sat.-Sun. with my cousins | Hoover Dam

Light show at Bellagio Hotel | Driving down the strip

Look, a double rainbow! | Arizona sunset, driving home from Vegas

Chile photos by Daniel Urrutia, Israel Guevara, Ryan Smart and other Team Transparent members

If you'd like to comment, do so on the previous post. Gracias.

all about chile, finally

2010-08-09T18:40:00.016-07:00

Photos by Daniel Urrutia and Sara Turbin
1. Christopher and I 2. Sara, Tim, Ryan (cousin) and I driving to LA

“Some things are hard to write about. After something happens to you, you go to write it down, and either you over dramatize it, or underplay it, exaggerate the wrong parts or ignore the important ones. At any rate, you never write it quite the way you want to.” -Sylvia Path

It’s been over a week. Ten days to be exact. And it seems like a lifetime. I’ve attempted to write about my trip to Chile several times with the desire to write down every detail, thought, emotion and memory. So I decided to finally escape to Starbucks for an afternoon (turned into evening) to type away at my computer and write this entry. Here it goes...

I don’t think I ever fully prepared myself for the trip. Many team members told me how they went through extensive prayer and waited for God to tell them, “Go.” I, on the other hand, received a text message from my cousin Ryan two months before I boarded a plane to Santiago. The text asked if I wanted to take part in a mission trip to Chile. One phone call to my mother and three minutes later, I responded, “Count me in!” I don’t like to pass up any opportunity to travel if I can help it and over the years I’ve always had the desire to go on a mission trip.

I’ve said this a lot, but I can’t believe Chile is now just a memory. I miss it every day-- the people from Young Life, Team Transparent, Jorge, Lucia, Mamey, our bus driver. Christopher, Sebastian and Carlos. The view of the Andes Mountains. The air being cold enough to see your breathe. Everything.

I also miss just being away from home. I have this insane dream to live out of a suitcase for the rest of my life, being in one place one day and another place entirely the next. All while having the opportunity to write, write, write. This insanity always makes me feel out of place when I’m surrounded by many female friends who are constantly talking about their desire to get married and settle down. My friend Allison (a traveler) messaged me the other day about the possibility of joining her in Ecuador by applying for an unpaid travel writing position. If I had the money or enough time to get everything in order, I’d go in a heart beat. I emailed her boss, who said they offer unpaid internships all year round. So it’s definitely something that could happen in the future. We’ll see.

God has placed so many amazing people in my life. From the people who supported me to go on this trip to my mother, who has been nothing but supportive, to every single person I came in contact with in Chile. If anyone from Team Transparent happens to read this: I love you. Seriously. And I’m blessed to have such an awesome brother/sister.

Now, to get to the trip. I broke it down by day. Enjoy.

Day One- Sunday, July 18th
I was antsy about my luggage-- did I forget anything? Was it overweight? Did I pack too much? All for nothing as it turned out to be 0.4 pounds shy of the weight limit. Perfection. We crammed two cars full of suitcases and the nine of us set off for Los Angeles. The drive usually takes about six hours, but we stopped at Carls Jr. twice. So it took us a bit little longer. When we arrived in Cali we were greeted by members of an international church, where we stayed our first night, and the LA team members. That night we consumed In N’ Out and dug our toes into the sands of Venice Beach.

Day Two- Monday, July 19th
Well we hopped on a plane at LAX. Thirteen hours later we found ourselves in Santiago, Chile.

Day Three- Tuesday, July 20th
We boarded a bus with no heater. The windows were curtained and tassles hung from the ceiling. Halfway between our destination and the airport, the bus broke down. All 23 of us were cold and tired. We finally arrived at a school in the city of Rancagua, our home for the next ten days. Guys in one room, girls in another. After a much-needed nap, the girls took a cold shower. That night we found ourselves at a dinner with the mayor of Rancagua, a religious man who was up for re-election and used us as publicity. This was a blessing as it resulted in the donation of heaters and mattresses.

Day Four- Wednesday, July 21st
It was a rainy day that began with bread and juice for breakfast. This was our first day of work. The team worked on a total of three houses. I stayed at the first. Patrick and I cut styrafoam to insulate the house. The national Chilean news station showed up and another news station. Crazy stuff. I hope it helps Younglife’s ministry. After lunch I played with 8-year-old Christopher most of the time, and hammered nails into boards the rest of the time. Christopher kept asking me to draw him tigers, horses, people, sheep, donkeys and I don’t know what all else. I’m no artist, but did my best and he seemed content. When I couldn’t understand him, he did his best to describe things. I just looked down at him and smiled and he’d smile back. He also rode his bike, nearly falling into a pile of rubbish and nearly giving me a heart attack. He also had me swing him around and we played with a beach volleyball that didn’t last as it popped on bobbed-wire. I received two oranges throughout the day, one from Christopher and the other from his mother- both gifts. We were offered tea. The day ended with a big hug and kiss on the cheek from Christopher. I miss him.

Day Five- Thursday, July 22nd
In the morning we hosted a retreat for Younglife, the organization we partnered with (if I neglected to mention that earlier). This included a few messages, games and worship. We received many stares from kids at the lunch table, and you’d have sworn they were making fun of us. We were assured they weren’t. I want to learn Spanish via Rosetta Stone as soon as possible. Later that afternoon Jorge invited the girls to his home so we could take a hot shower. It was the best shower. Ever. With a view of the Andes Mountains outside the window. We met his wife and three kids. He has the most beautiful family. Jorge is exactly what a Godly man should be. There aren't many of those in my life and I can't tell you how much I look up to him. You could just see Jesus in everything he did. His youngest boy has the most beautiful laugh I’ve ever heard. It sounds something like a sheep and you’d swear it impossible for one to laugh this way. But he does. I’m certain it’s nothing short of a gift from God. That night part of the team put on worship. After which we snacked on what tasted like Cap’n Crunch cereal. Oddly delicious.

Day Six- Friday, July 23rd
We visited the emergency village, home to the earthquake victims. Here they live in homes that sit along a muddy road and are covered by plastic. We walked the roads, inviting people to the block party and praying with individual families. Across the street you can see the damage of the apartments where they once lived. Since the earthquake people have stolen things left behind, all to sell for money. We played with the kids- soccer, basketball and the like. Patrick made balloon animals. We had a candy toss. Later we put on a “Everything by Lifehouse” skit and shared testimonies. The people seemed to be genuinely happy we were there.

Day Seven- Saturday, July 24th
The team was split in three groups- two to insulate homes at separate locations and another to haul bricks from a center destroyed in the earthquake. I was on the brick team, along with the majority of the Arizona team. We moved bricks, or threw them really, along the side of the road. That way a truck could come by and carry them away. We used sledge hammers and tore down walls. We sang “My Girl.” It rained. Maria, an elderly woman down the street, donated a wheel barrel and shovel. We formed a line to get things done faster part of the time. This day was one of my favorites. We all bonded. Later we held another block party. At each block party on the trip, Jorge presented autographed jerseys worn by the Chilean soccer team during the World Cup. The kids were able to try them on and have their picture taken. They went wild with excitement. We played soccer and lost to kids half our age. We’re Americans, what can we say.

Day Eight- Sunday, July 25th
 A much needed day of rest. We played cards in the morning- Scum and Nerts. We later went to another community and held a block party. A girl named Anna Maria drug me around to meet her family part of the time. I can’t tell you how thankful I was for the L.A. team and them constantly translating for us. We talked to a lot of the teenagers there. A 19-year-old boy asked me if I wanted a Chilean boyfriend. I responded, “No, thank you.” That night we had separate meetings- L.A. and Phoenix- to see how the trip was going so far. We all agreed that we were part of an amazing experience and team.

Day Nine- Monday, July 26th
We put on a Vacation Bible School for orphans. I worked with the five to nine-year-olds. I played soccer and basketball with Carlos, and made balloons with Sebastian. We colored, we sang, we laughed. Sebastian gave Alma and I about five hugs goodbye. He said he’d never forget us and nearly cried when he had to go. He also did a Shakira dance which we have on video. We also spoke with 15-year-old Phillip and he told us his story. I’m sure if I knew half of the things these kids went through, I’d cry uncontrollably. This was another favorite day for me. We took all 50+ kids and teens to lunch with us at Jumbo. This is where our team ate lunch and dinner the entire trip. Needless to say we were tired of rice and chicken after nine days. Our servers loved us and made french fries twice. The last few days we were able to have the good dessert- pineapple cake and other things. They gave a short speech our last night- thanking us. Did I mentioned we were surrounded by loving people the entire trip? So blessed.

Day Ten- Tuesday, July 27th
We walked downtown this day and went to the shops. I consumed a delicious, caramel-filled churro. We went to the mayor’s office where we took a group photo and were on the news... again. Later we went to another school and hosted a block party. The girls thought Hugo looked like Taylor Lautner and wanted all our autographs. We also received several kisses on the cheek, hugs and requests for photographs. That night we celebrated Mamey’s birthday- he turned 18. He’s with Younglife Chile and hung out with us the entire trip. He cried when he received a jersey worn by a player from his favorite team. So awesome.

Day Eleven- Wednesday, July 28th
Our last, full day in Chile. The mayor rented the team a charter bus to drive to a town called Sewell, located in the Andes. Apparently it’s a big deal to go the Andes, even if you live in Chile. Kids aren’t allowed to go and it takes weeks for anyone to get permission. There’s an active copper mine in the Andes and the road has buses taking workers to and from town every day. Sewell is an abandoned town where our tour guide once lived and went to school. The government put a ban on people living there because all the chemicals from the mine. We went to a museum and ate lunch at a cafeteria full of miners in orange suits. It was a beautiful day. Later that evening some team members went to downtown Rancagua, but I stayed behind to rest and play cards with half of the team. Many of us started getting sick. I was one of them. I’m still coughing as I type this, but no matter. That night was our last dinner at Jumbo. The mayor came to say goodbye and we met as a team for several hours to reflect back on our trip. I was on the verge of tears, but did my best to hold them in. I’ll get to what all I was thinking that night on a second post.

Day Twelve- Thursday, July 29th
We left the school by 7 a.m. and drove two miles north to Santiago. We toured the city, parts of it reminding me of Paris. So pretty. We had lunch and left for the airport. It was goodbye, Chile. In thirteen hours we’d be home to the United States. I slept most of the plane ride. We had another layover in Peru. Ashlyn and I shared journal entries and wrote down little details of the trip, like Tim “The Wall” Jennings, Sara’s Spanish voice and the like. We both were going to miss our journal nights. Each night of the trip the girls would journal before we went to sleep and shares laughs about a few of Ashlyn’s embarrassing moments. Good, good times.

Day Thirteen- Friday, July 30th
The drive back to Phoenix took about eight or nine hours. We were all in desperate want and need of a shower. All of us were exhausted, most of us sick. We said goodbye to the L.A. team and ate McDonalds for breakfast. I arrived home to a half empty house. Pictures off walls, furniture sold and gone. This, mixed emotions and a warm shower left me in happy and sad tears. We leave the 26th of this month to Tennessee. I can’t tell you how much I’m going to miss the Arizona team. But we’ll be back to Chile (or somewhere) next year. Guaranteed.

Note: I'll probably be editing/updating this over the next few days. Expect another entry about Chile in the next few days. More pictures coming soon.

back from chile

2010-08-01T22:42:00.003-07:00

I have so much to share with you, readers. You have no idea. So little time, so much to do. So here's what you can expect in the next few weeks.

UNO. Details on my mission trip to Chile. For right now all I can say is it was AMAZING & I am one blessed gal surrounded by WONDERFUL people. You can also check out the Transparent Project Chile blog.
DOS. A giveaway-- this is long overdue.
TRES. Where I'm at in my life. My childhood home just sold and I have to be out of the house the 26th of this month. Which means I have to figure out if I'm moving to Nashville or if I'm staying in Arizona. Plus I have to find a job ASAP. & I have to pack my life away into cardboard boxes. I thought for sure I was going to Tennessee, but I find myself torn and uncertain. Pray for me, por favor. Pretty, pretty please.

I LOVE YOU ALL SO, SO MUCH.

I'll be seeing you...

2010-07-17T11:39:00.002-07:00

I leave to Chile TOMORROW, which means this is goodbye until August. I'M SO EXCITED! I will be gone for twelve days, but I'm sure I will have many adventures and pictures to share with you once I return. Please, please keep us in your prayers. Also, I'm thinking a giveaway is in order for my followers as soon as I return. I'm going to miss you all! While I'm gone tell me a little bit about yourself by answering the questionnaire below-- sound good?

I love you all.

1. What do you love about yourself?
2. What's your favorite quote?
3. Favorite blogger (include URL, pretty please)?
4. What's one thing that has shaped you into the person you are today (a person, experience, etc)?
5. What would you do, if you knew you couldn't fail?
6. Skittles or M&Ms?
7. Tell me something, anything for number seven.

♥♥♥

five things I love

2010-07-12T19:58:00.013-07:00

Today was a happy, beautiful Monday and I have so much to be thankful for in my life at the moment. It has me giddy. So I thought I'd share a few things.

1. Tackling HTML Dilemmas
I have been trying to find the proper tutorial for editing the font of the page tabs here on blogger. After months of struggling, I received some help from the lovely Kelly Ann of The Flowerchild Dwelling. & I am eternally grateful! She saved me from what I'm sure would have been several more months of frustration. I also recently discovered how to edit the font of post titles thanks to a nifty little tutorial provided by Kevin and Amanda.

2. Chile Trip
In six days- SIX DAYS- I'll be leaving for LA where I will then board an aircraft to enjoy a 17-hour flight. EEP-- I'm so excited! Not for the plane ride necessarily, but certainly for the fact I'll be in South America for about ten days. "It's like America... but South." <--- Pixar reference. Anyway... I'll be gone until the end of June on a mission trip to Chile. While there I'll be helping to restore a Christian children’s camp called Alé Alé after the devastating earthquake that hit this past February, as well as putting on a sports camp, a block party and other projects. I can't wait for the adventure to begin. I'll be staying in a community with several hundred people who live in houses that aren't insulated and share about three toilets that I'm told aren't much more than a hole. Plus, it's winter there. But I'm so ready to leave this 110 degree heat and swap it for cold, rainy weather. Do me a grand favor and please, PLEASE keep our team in your prayers.

3. Savers
Today consisted of a trip to Savers- it's sorta like Goodwill, only better and without the horrible smell (in my opinion). I purchased about ten items of clothing for less than thirty bucks. Sweet success! Since we're planning on keeping most of our clothes in Chile for the Chilean people, I needed to do a bit of shopping. And everything I purchased today was cute stuff, let me tell you. I will definitely be visiting again, and very soon.

4. Monsoon Season
Here in Arizona we have what is known as monsoon season and it's officially begun. It consists of high winds, dust and severe downpours. It's fantastic-- at least for those who are a fan of stormy weather. It's truly a beautiful thing and the lightning storms are epic. You haven't seen true lightning until you've lived in Arizona. The air smells of rain, only better if you ask me. The sky turns a pretty brown. It's indescribable. If I could bottle it up and send it to you, I would. Let's just say monsoon season is the highlight of summer in Arizona. I just wish we could skip the 110+ degree weather.

Picture: Lindsey and I in Sedona a few years ago.
5. Meetings at Starbucks
A few years ago a friend of mine, Lindsey, approached me when my first relationship ended badly. She had recently ended a bad relationship as well. At the time we figured we had a lot in common, so we started meeting up at Starbucks to chat. We'd first met in junior high. We were in band together- she played the flute/drums & I played clarinet- and I can remember going to her house for a sleepover. In high school we didn't share any classes but always said "hello" when we passed each other in the hallway. It wasn't until I was a freshman in college and her a senior in high school (I graduated high school a year early) that we started meeting up at Starbucks every so often just to talk and discuss our lives. Today she is one of my best friends and we still go to Starbucks for our usual discussions. Most of our conversations always lead to what God is doing in our lives and it always turn out to be a wonderful time of fellowship. We are constantly encouraging one other and learning from the other. I'm thankful for those moments. Over the years I have referred to her as my therapist. She's been there for me through many tough times in my life and I'm so, so thankful. God speaks to me so much through her-- always. It's truly a magical thing. Who would have thought from our crappy relationships that it would end in a blessed friendship? It goes back to my life motto: From all bad, comes good. ★

What are you currently loving, readers?

i want to travel the world

2010-07-06T21:12:00.003-07:00

Today I've decided-- I'm going to Egypt one day. No ifs, ands or buts.
Ever since I was a little girl I've had a fascination with Egypt-
before eight-year-old me visited an Egyptian exhibit at some museum downtown &
I dreamt of being an archeologist.
These photographs by RJ Shaughnessy {more featured below} are simply stunning.

Speaking of Egypt, have any of you seen this trailer for Despicable Me? Hilarious.

i'm not the biggest fan of change

2010-07-04T14:26:00.009-07:00

I can remember the first time I arrived at my grandparents cabin as a little girl, excited to spend a weekend somewhere cold enough to wear a jacket during summer. Grandma and grandpa still had their motor home. It was the same motor home I sat in watching the news the night Princess Diana died. Weekends were spent at the cabin with my cousins. We'd built forts in the back yard and sell flowers & things made out of wood to whoever would stop at the end of the driveway. As we got older we rode four wheelers for hours. Those days were always more fun if it was a bit cloudy or rainy. In the morning we'd wake up to a huge breakfast made by grandma. Evenings were spent playing Dominoes or old Nintendo. And from time to time, we'd go fishing.

Every Fourth of July is spent at the cabin. I don't know when the tradition started. All I know is we've been going up to the mountains every Independence Day since I can remember. That was back when the fair was still good- full of craft booths, magic shows and a horse shoe contest. Dad competed for several years, always wearing his lucky hat. One year an old lady gave me a Precious Moments pillow from her booth.

My cousins, brother and I would wake early as little kids to watch the parade and spent the rest of the day anticipating the evening's fireworks. Around 5 o'clock we would drive to a canyon and sit in lawn chairs on the baseball field. Thousands of people from Arizona would come here and escape the heat. Hours were spent munching on kettle corn, watching people dance and playing cards. Earlier years they had a greased pig wrestling contest; that was until the year one fell over and died- probably from fear of people chasing it around an empty field. If you catch it, you keep it- that was the name of the game. Animal cruelty, if you ask me.

Over the years, the number of people who went up to my grandparent's cabin varied. One year the whole family came. Other years it was just the grandparents and I. Sometimes my parents came, sometimes my cousins. Last year my nephew, brother and his girlfriend came as well. Oh, how times have changed. This year my cousin Ryan and I were the only ones who stayed at the cabin, since grandpa recently got out of the hospital. But for another year Ryan and I decided to stick with family tradition. We still went to the parade and arrived early for the fireworks.

I watched as little kids whispered to their parents, "Did you see that one?" "Oohhhh... Awww." All were excited over the same things I'd experienced since I was their age. It feels as if it were just yesterday that I was the same little girl, wearing pigtails and walking the fair grounds with my Precious Moments pillow in hand. Sometimes, just sometimes, I hate change. ★

Do you have any Fourth of July traditions, my American readers?

the last film will be epic

2010-06-29T11:35:00.006-07:00

I was in seventh grade when the first Harry Potter film came out. I can remember sitting in a dark theater with my cousin and parents. We were on the far side of theater, the second or third row back from the row where you can place your feet up on the bar- {do all theaters have this row? anyway...} My mother loved the film as much I did, whereas my cousin could care less about the wizarding world. After that I sat in study hall every day, reading as much as I could about the boy who lived. Several of my peers read it as well.

I've been a Harry Potter fan ever since. It still baffles me how someone can be as genius as J.K. Rowling. The woman is downright brilliant. She created the most wonderful, lovable world- and all while sitting in little coffee shops as a single mother. When I pick up a Harry Potter book, it's impossible to put it down. I started rereading Deathly Hallows last night and thought I'd never get to sleep.

I've been obsessed with the computer game at one point. I've owned every book and DVD the day it was released. Half the time I had to wait for mother to read the book because she's every bit a fan as I am. We switched off every other book. Sometimes she'd read it first, sometimes I would. I can remember reading Deathly Hallows for the first time as mom drove us home from Target. Of course, I couldn't wait until I was home to start reading it. I would gasp at several scenes and I'm sure my mom wanted to slap me- not really, but you get the idea- for frustration of wanting to know what was happening.

I've had several arguments with religious friends about whether or not Harry Potter was "satanic" or something or other. "It's teaching children witchcraft," some would say. My argument: How is Harry Potter any different from any other fictional story? There's witches in several Disney movie classical films. And J.K. Rowling didn't actually create real spells. Again, it's fictional. In fact, J.K. Rowling identifies herself a Christian. & anyone who has seen the movies or read the books can tell you it's a story on good versus evil, and above all promotes love and friendship. I can think of far worse things that children watch these days. Now of course, I do think younger children like my nephew should wait until they're a bit older to watch the later films because of the violence.

Last summer I was absolutely giddy when I arrived at King's Cross station in London. I was equally giddy when I purchased a British version of Half-Blood Prince {like the one featured above} at a book sale not far from the London Eye and Parliament. That same summer I went to the midnight showing of the Half-Blood Prince, and you can bet I'll be doing the same for the next two films. Who else had severe goosebumps while watching the newest trailer? Summer 2011 and I'll be saying goodbye to something that's been a part of my childhood much more than even the Toy Story films. Note: I cried while watching Toy Story 3.

But I suppose I'll never really have to say goodbye. The magical world of Harry Potter is always a page- or trip to Universal Orlando- away. ★

What are your thoughts on Harry Potter, readers? & Sorry for going overkill on the HP pictures.